Disparity of Fate
by Toldrumen
Summary: When a normal person is drawn into a familiar set of worlds, will his knowledge save him? Or condemn him?
1. Prologue

**Author's Note:** WARNING this is a Self-Insertion fanfic. WARNING There will be massive spoilers to both Fate Stay/Night and Tsukihime. I have played through both games completely, and as such my character is aware of the plot of both games, and has the physical and mental capabilities of myself as of 2/17/2011.

As a side note, Tsukihime will not be showing up a whole lot for some number of chapters after this prologue, but don't worry, I hope to come into contact with the plenty of the Nasuverse over the course of this fanfic, even if only in passing.

Please read and review, I am looking for feedback here.

I own nothing except for myself, obviously.

***Prologue Start!***

There are things called magic, but not in our world. Ghosts of long-dead heroes and monsters and youkai and even those who use spells, Magi. There are many worlds separated only by the merest of coincidence, and many more separated by the fanciful and outrageous. None are quite as outrageous, however, as the world where one Kischur Zelretch Schweinorg, Magi, Dead Apostle, and sole practitioner of the so called "Second Sorcery" that allows him to jump these worlds at will, currently argues with his foster-grandchild.

"Listen... **GAH**" a fire hydrant rebounds off his head. "You don't OWN that little Tohno boy. No! put down the convertible!" The side of a building disappears, the building known as the Tohno family manor.

"See? I told you she couldn't take being rejected. Fufufu..." Ciel taunts as the lamppost she was standing on is ripped out from underneath her. She hops lightly to another one nearby, laughing the entire way.

"You didn't have to piss her off so much she **BERSERKS**!" Zelretch exclaims between ragged breaths, as he rips more magical energy from other dimensions to protect against the frenzied blows of the wild-eyed Arcueid. He changes tactics and begins not just pulling prana, but whole objects in an attempt to stall his foster granddaughter until she calms down.

That is the power of the Second Sorcery, the ability to interact with, and traverse the nigh-infinite number of alternate dimensions, allowing the user infinite access to the magical energy in those locations. He uses this power often, traversing thousands of dimensions for reasons only known to himself, so drawing power from other dimensions is a trivial task. Trivial, but Zelretch is beginning to age and weaken, he just doesn't have the "gusto" that he used to, and sometimes? He makes mistakes.

***Scene Break***

"So here I sit, typing away at my computer, my mother sleeping peacefully a few rooms away. Yes, I live with my mother. Sometimes she needs physical labor done around the house, and I do it in return for a roof over my head, because she injured her knees scraping out a living for me when I was born. What am I doing you ask? Well I am unemployed, so I am writing. I don't think I am very good at it, but I am hoping to get better and write a novel some day."

I finish writing the paragraph and sigh. "It doesn't read that well" I say into Ventrilo "I will probably have to re-write..." I am cut off by a loud _***POP***_ from behind me. I turn around and notice something strange. One of the tables in the dining room is missing. I don't think much of it at first, maybe we moved it somewhere and I had just forgotten? I can be forgetful of the simplest things, but remember the most random of them.

Then the popping happens again, and my widescreen monitor disappears. "What... But I just bought tha..." The noise becomes more frequent and I begin to panic. "Guys, listen, things are just disappearing here! I don't know what is happening but I might not be able to be online for that raid to..." My tower disappears. Then my desk. Then the chair I was sitting on in rapid succession. I fall down and scramble to get up and run away.

_*_**_POP_**_*_ And the world fell out underneath me.

***Scene Break***

Arcueid's hands fly through the air throwing wicked arcs with hands like knives. She wasn't really tiring, that isn't entirely possible, but she was calming down slowly. The blows were hardly as fierce as they were a few hours ago and though his brow was soaked, Zelretch saw this as an opportunity to end the fight with his tantrumming fool of a grandchild.

She charged at him, and he pulled a large dining table through time and space. Slamming against it slowed her mad charge as it split in half. Zelretch took the chance to put distance between them with a few quick bounds backwards. He might be an old magi, but he WAS a Dead Apostle.

He pointed an accusing finger at where he was standing, launching a black rectangle made of plastic at the recovering monster. It was largely ineffective, all but disintegrating when it hit her. She looked up and glared at him, the malice was oppressive and he couldn't help but marvel for a moment at how much she scared even HIM.

Ciel continues laughing from one of the remaining lampposts. What was that in her hand? Was she recording this?

A much larger black rectangle made of metal flies forth, hitting home and scattering electronics through the street. Zelretch throw more things in rapid succession, a desk, a chair. Arcueid has almost calmed down, she begins walking slowly towards he opponent, knocking the objects out of the way as she draws closer. Then Zelretch throws a person.

"...aaaaaAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH" _***Thump***_ Arcueid's eyes open wide in surprise, and change back to their usual color, as the man of twenty flies at her at high speed. The suddenness of being attacked by a man had jarred her back to something approximating sanity, but the confusion probably saved his life. Intead of batting him away, or worse, ripping him in half, he merely bowls her over, the two of them collapse into a twitching heap.

"**WHAT IN THE NAME OF... WAS THAT THE WILLY WONKA TUNNEL?**" I yell as I take stock of my limbs, and push myself up. It is then that I notice exactly what position I had fallen in. "Oh, I'm sorry! I was just... Wait... Arcueid?" She looks up at me quizzically and mutters something I don't understand.

"Oh no." I exclaim. "Oh no oh no oh no. This. I know this." I look around and spy Ciel who has since jumped down and doubled over in her laughter, and Zelretch walking towards me. I force myself up and turn to him. "**WHAT IN THE HELL WAS THAT?**" I nearly scream at him, my voice tinged with barely contained fury. "**I KNOW YOU SPEAK ENGLISH. SO WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!**" The elder magi palms his face and puts a hand on my shoulder, a very firm hand. "We need to talk." He says.

***Scene Break***

"So... let me get this straight. You, in your infinite wisdom, accidentally pulled me from a universe, and you DON'T REMEMBER WHERE IT IS? Of course, there are an infinite number of them, so you will try and find it to send me back, but infinite universes means that it could take an infinite amount of time... Great. Just great. **JUST**. **GREAT**."

I had been nearly dragged into the Tohno Family Manor, to have a very depressing conversation with one of the four most powerful beings in this world. "Don't worry, you can stay here while you wait." he says. I eye him suspiciously as one of the maids brings tea out. She has a smile on her face. "Thank you Kohaku." I say even though she likely won't understand my English. I politely take the cup of tea from her, and politely don't drink it because I am not that stupid. I turn back to Zelretch. "No. I refuse to stay here, surely you have somewhere else that you can send me? Somewhere... safer?"

He thumbs his beard in thought. "Well, you need to be somewhere I can find you easily, and I don't want to leave you alone either. There is... one other quick option, I could send you to the house of one of my pupil's descendants." I agree immediately without considering the consequences, how stupid of me. But I would be damned before I ate anything Kohaku made.

"Shall I send you now?" he asks and I nod. He walks over and closes a strange bracelet over my right wrist. It is bulky and made of a strange green metal, ringed with strange symbols that give me a headache to look at. "Show that as proof that you are under my protection. Anything else you need?" he asks as I give him a sour look. "Nothing important but... what is up with that tunne-" *POP* "Of course he isn't going to tell me, that would be too easy. Oh well, nothing to do but wait now." Unlike the first trip, this one is taking much longer, I begin to hum to myself. When that doesn't prove to be enough to keep me occupied, I start outright singing. Considering the kind of messed up tunnel I was going through, there was only one song to sing...

_***POP*** ***THUD***_ "Owch. Creator of the Second bedamned Sorcery, killer of Brunestud of the Crimson Moon, and he doesn't know anything about soft landings?"

I brush my pants off and sigh. Looking around, I am on the stoop of a large english house at the top of a hill. It is late evening, and quite dark, fortunately my eyes had adjusted from the bland darkness of the tunnel I used to get there. "Wait... English house on a hill... Apprentice of Zelretch... I know where I am." Someone rounds the outer wall of the next house over, sighing and talking to herself. She is a cute girl, a couple years younger than me, her clothes are predominantly red with a black skirt, her hair is in twin pigtails, and she stands more than a head shorter than me.

I raise my newly adorned hand to her as she arrives at the door, her mouth gaping as she suddenly notices my presence. "Hello Rin." I say, as though meeting an old friend. She stares. "I know you speak English, you would never get into The Clock Tower if you didn't." I casually bring up one of her life long goals. "Zelretch sent me, would you mind letting me in?" I point to the bracer he gave me in a matter of fact way, as if I actually knew what it was or what it did.

She grabs me by the collar of my shirt and lifts me into the air... Is what I think at first, but she is just grabbing on, not lifting. There is only one explanation that fits into my mind. "Hello Archer." I proclaim, even though I cannot see anyone else there. Why would I be able to? I am just a normal person of course. She gasps even louder this time. I sigh heavily. "Please just let me inside so I can explain." I plead. "Archer, put your sword away and let him down." She orders. *Gulp*

And so I was allowed into the Tohsaka residence for tea.


	2. Chapter 1

**Author's Note**: You will note that I protest "Mortals can't see servants." As far as Fate Stay/Night is concerned, the ONLY times a servant is seen by someone random is Saber (Who doesn't count, let's be honest here.) And caster being seen by the monks of Ryuudou Temple. As far as the monks go, they are all in different stages of learning Breathing and Walking, which is stated to be why Kuzuki is compatible as a master... so yeah.

If that isn't a good enough excuse, INFINITE UNIVERSES. This is not the Fate you were looking for, but instead a completely different fate that is so identical that there are no differences except for that, and the fact that I am there, and any other "Liberties" I take.

Please read and review, I am looking for feedback here.

All I own is myself.

*** Chapter 1 Get! ***

So there I sat, across the table from one of the main characters in one of my favorite stories of all time. Tohsaka Rin, last name first of course, I'm not a savage. She was, of course, very real, and very angry at me for existing. She had a wary look on her face, like I was afflicted with some kind of horrible disease, or she had found me coated in blood. Archer was in the kitchen, wordlessly preparing tea, not that I could hear him if he was talking.

"I don't know who you are, and I don't trust you. The only reason I have even let you into my house is because I am confident that Archer could rip you to shreds if you tried anything. You seem to know about Archer, and Magi... somehow, despite you not seeming to be anything but a normal human. I want to know why you are here." The sharpness in her voice is worrisome to me, I had expected her to take my comments at face value, like the good fictional heroine she was. This... This felt like my life was seriously in danger. I can feel my hands begin to shake as the realization that things might not be as easy as I once thought they would be sinks in.

"Merciless as always Rin." I tried to put out an air of casual indifference much at odds with how violently my hands were shaking in my lap. "You are right in guessing that I don't have any magic. I'm just a normal guy, honest. The reason I am here is... complicated, the least complicated part being that I got launched from another dimension and onto your front stoop. I already told you how Zelretch sent me here, right? And how he gave me this... thing to make sure he could find me? I don't know what it would take to make you trust me, I guess I wouldn't trust me either in the same situation... But I can answer your questions at the very least." My voice that starts out feigning strength slowly drifts towards insecurity, losing the cock-sure confidence and tainting the words with an unsure warble.

Her eyes turn from hostility to incredulity. "Fine, how do you know about Archer, and Magi, The Clock Tower? Zelretch?"

"W-well... uhh... This is going to sound weird but... From a book, technically, from my world." By book, I of course mean novel, and by novel I mean Visual Novel, but telling her I know her from an eroge is probably not the best of ideas right now. "I know about Servants, and Magi, and even Archer from it. Zelretch I read about too, but considering I met him less than two hours ago, I figure that is a less uhh... 'valid' source in comparison."

Her head nods thoughtfully at my words. "I don't believe you." She bites out. "Archer? The tea can wait for a minute. I think this fellow here is lying, and I'm sure you have a good way of fixing that, ne?"

"W-w-w-wait. What?" Her eyes are stern, cold even. She has the look of a magus only interested in getting what they want. The fear becomes palpable, creeping up my spine like tendrils of ice. "But-but you can't do that! Zelretch sent me here so you could keep me s-safe!"

"'Safe' not 'Unharmed'. Besides, why should I value your safety over my own? I sure don't feel very safe right now." When she finishes her sentence, she waves a hand in the air, signalling something. Before I can protest, my head is jerked back over the top of the chair I was sitting in. I try and put energy into my muscles, but they are firmly restrained, my neck stretched out with the nape of my neck pinned against the lacquered wood.

"Gah!" I yell in pain, even though it didn't hurt that badly. My hands have stopped shaking... no, my entire body is shaking so much that they seemed to have stopped. I make soft grunting noises as I try and fight against the force to no avail.

Her thoughtful voice rings out over the table. "Well, you know Archer is here now, so that won't do for questioning. I don't know how you know about magic, but knowing the name Zelretch isn't that hard, considering how infamous he is. How about me, what do you know about me? Don't lie now." A giggle and a smile. I never imagined how terrifying that smile could really be.

"Uhh, your name is T-Tohsaka Rin, your f-f-father's name was T-Tohsaka Tokiomi. He died in the last grail war, leaving you an orphan." The grip holding me back into the chair, and pulling my head back seems to tighten. "The uhh, the priest! Kotomine, he took to being your guardian, and training you as an apprentice. He gave you an Azoth knife when he stopped training you!" The words jump out as fast as they can, my mind working in overdrive, grasping at the straws needed to keep me alive.

"And did you read that in this book you mention?" Her words drip with vitriol.

"Ye~**GAAHHNNGG**... ***C**o**U**g**HCOUGHCO**ugh*" A steely fist drives its way into my solar plexus, knocking me back over the chair and onto the floor.

"Now now Archer, please don't break anything." She stands up and moves to the side of the table I was just sitting at, resting one hand on it, and crossing one of her legs over the other almost casually. The chair is kicked out of the way by my invisible assailant. He grabs me by the hair, stands me up, and kicks me in the back of my legs, forcing me into a kneeling position in front of Rin. He pulls my arms back, and restrains them, probably with one hand, and lifts my face up to eye level with his master. The position is extremely uncomfortable, and a hand pulls at my nape to keep me from moving my head away from hers, or towards hers as the case might be.

"I-I-I what is... This isn't supposed to be..." The words come out muddled and incoherent.

"You mentioned an Azoth knife right? Like this one?" She produces a short blade, the grip seeming to be wrapped in bands of leather with the rain guard displaying runes of some sort, and the pommel featuring a gem that prominantly displays the word "AZOTH" in spindly letters. "It is really only a ritual tool, but I suppose it would work in a situation like this. Archer, your hands are tied up at the moment right? So I should do this then, ne?"

She holds it in her right hand, turns it up, and points the tip to my throat. The hands holding onto me push me up against the blade, the tip pressing into the bottom of my neck, and making it difficult to swallow. The edge isn't very sharp, so it hasn't cut anything... Yet.

"Do you still say you are telling the truth? That a mere book has given you so much? You aren't some spy for another master or something! **ARE YOU LYING TO ME?**" She screams at me.

"N-No! I'm not lying! Stop! Don't hurt me I jus~" She hits me across the face with the back of her left hand, dragging a warm wetness from my nose. I can smell iron strongly now, and I can't make anything comprehensible come from my mouth or brain anymore.

She smirks, probably knowing that she has broken me. "So, if you want to live, you will promise not to lie to me, and do exactly what I say?"

"I-I-I-I-I... Yes! Please! Just don't k-k-kill me!" She laughs. She laughs in my face, and the hands on my neck push me onto the tip of the knife. My vital fluids begin dribbling down the length of the cold metal, and my neck, staining my T-shirt at the collar.

"▓▓█▓▓▓▓█▓▓▓" She says something in a language I don't understand, and pulls the blood-soaked dagger away from my neck. She draws it over the palm of her left hand as a breeze sweeps through the area, her body seeming to glow unnaturally. Her own blood starts pooling into her hand, and she slaps it onto the wound on my neck, grabbing like she wants to choke me. "By our pledge, the contract is forged in blood." It sounded almost like a chant, no, it WAS a chant.

My fear was still driving my mind into confusion, but I knew what she was doing, she had put me under a Geas, and now I HAD to tell her the truth. She didn't even need my permission because I'm not a magus, and don't have any innate magical resistance, but she asked anyways...

The hands holding me let go, and I land on the floor in a pile. "My first order, is that you will not physically harm me." I force myself onto my knees, and cover the wound on my throat with my left hand. "F-fine." I don't feel the Geas on me, almost like I could disobey if I wanted, but something deep in my mind tells me that I can't. If I disobey I will die, like a little bomb has been placed in my brain, waiting for me to break orders. It doesn't physically stop me from doing so but...

"I can't have you bleeding out all over my carpet, so let me get you cleaned and patched up. Then we can continue this little line of questioning. ne?" That smile, that terrible smile, but even worse than the smile? Is the knowledge that I am now Tohsaka Rin's _**bitch**_.

***Scene Break***

An hour passes, and my wound has been bandaged. A patch of gauze is taped onto my neck making it feel stiff when I try and lower my head. It itches, and so I fiddle with it with my left hand. Tea arrives, and Tohsaka bats my hand away from my neck, after she sets the tea-set down. "If you keep messing with it, it won't heal properly you know."

I grumble a begrudging assent. "So, you want to continue the questioning now I take it? Preferrably with less physical trauma on my part? Please?" I sip at the tea, a small pleasurable groan issuing forth as I imbibe the warm liquid. I'm not much of a tea man, but this is undeniably delicious. "Did Archer make this? It is good."

"Ah yes, he did, and I agree, it is very nice even though I could make it better." She 'hmphs' like the only reason she didn't was because she couldn't be bothered. "First off, I need to know your name."

"You can call me Tuv." It isn't my given name, but I'm not lying either. It is one of my Aliases on the internet, and many people know me by this name. It isn't technically a lie... I wait a moment to make sure my brain is still intact. I don't feel dead yet so...

"Tuv? That is a strange name, well Tuv-kun... What do you know about the Fifth Grail War. It obviously isn't a coincidence that you are here during such a thing, so you must know about it."

I grimace at the question. I don't want to answer, but I can't lie about it... "I know about fifty or so ways that this war can go, or at least fifty ways that it can go for Shirou." That is only if I count bad and dead-ends... but it seems sufficiently dramatic enough to put me in a good light. "Of course none of them involve me being here."

"Wait... Shirou? Why Shirou?" Her eyebrows raise in confusion.

"He is the main point of view of the book. Some of it is from your point of view, and sometimes it cuts to other people's view as well, but it predominantly follows Shirou and his thoughts."

"Yokatta. So he is okay even after that wound to his chest..."

"Wound to his chest... The one from Lancer? If that already happened, why are you here? You should have teamed up with him by now."

"Teamed up with him? All I did was save his life, why would I do something like that?" Her brow furrows, and a painful look takes over he face as she remembers a horrible scene.

"You mean, you never went to check on him a second time? Even though the policy is to kill off witnesses?" The surprise is evident in my voice. "Why would... oh no. It is because I am here and distracted you."

She gasps. "What? Why didn't you remind me sooner?" She yells at someone I can't see.

"Don't worry, he is fine." I say outright and firmly. "He summoned Saber and forced Lancer to retreat." a matter-of-fact response.

What I didn't expect was the sheer volume of what was to come next.

"**HE WHAAAAAT! BUT HE COULDN'T... HE ISN'T EVEN...**"

"He did, he is, we have to go. Now." Is all the response I can manage before I am up and at the door.

***Scene Break***

We arrive at the Emiya residence after sprinting across town. Rin seems fine, she probably got help from archer on the trip. I, however, am asthmatic, and didn't really have time to bring an inhaler before my "trip" over here.

"Hssss-Haaaaa Hssss-Haaaaa." My breathing in is high pitched, and my outward breaths end with either a tinny whistling or a hacking cough. The bandage on my neck is starting to soak through with blood, but I ignore it.

Rin looks up at me worriedly "Are you okay?".

"No... No I'm not... But don't worry... About me right now..." My constricted bronchial tubes forcing me to take labored breaths throughout my talking. "We are... At least two hours late... Saber has probably... Already explained the war to Shirou... She will... Defend him... But he shouldn't want... To fight... Be careful... And don't attack..."

I look down and stop talking, hoping that Rin will take the hint that I need to concentrate on my breathing. She looks at me, turns, and says something to Archer that I can't quite hear through the wheezing.

We continue around the outside wall of the Emiya Residence, turning the corner and seeing the front entrance. We slowly walk towards it, Rin doing so out of caution, and me doing so because my body probably couldn't support me going any faster.

Only about half the distance to the front entrance is gained by the time I hear it. The pitter-patter of armored boots on the inner lawn. Saber jumps over the outer wall, and the first thing that strikes me, is just how vivid the blue she wears seems to be, even though my vision can be best described as black and white.

"Do you wish to fight, servant Archer?" She says, in a voice that manages to be regal even through its thinly veiled anger. "Then I will have to defeat you here." She says. Oh no, was Archer being snarky again? This isn't good.

Saber begins a fight with a being that I can't see, using a sword I can't see. The only indication that she is doing anything other than dancing by herself, are the periodic bursts of sparks that seem to explode from nowhere. I hear Rin clucking her tongue behind me, the fight must not be going very well.

Come to think of it... when did I get in front of Rin? Ah, I'm not feeling well, I let my breathing get too bad. I lean up against the stone wall to prop myself up as I start coughing. The sparks from the battle sear my beleaguered eyes so I cover them with the hand I'm not using to support myself.

The front gate to the Emiya Residence opens now, and a teenager with somewhat disheveled hair walks out. "Saber! What are you doing?" He yells. The sparks don't stop at his voice, the two sides have committed too much to the fight. "I am protecting you master, that is what servants do." She says it casually, as though she thinks little of her opponent.

My coughs get progressively worse in the meantime, eventually getting bad enough that I double over and throw up. The vile fluid burns at the raw flesh inside my throat, making breathing an even more laborious task. My head swims and my thoughts grow murky as my brain tries to continue on without oxygen. I fail to have the sense of mind to keep my balance anymore, falling to the ground amidst the coughing and gasping for air.

I can't breathe any more, and my consciousness feels like it is bleeding out from beneath me. "I am going to die... So soon..." I really could have come to enjoy being in this world, it had always been a dream of mine to suddenly be thrust into a world like this. As I finally collapse into a heap, and lose my mind to the release of unconsciousness, I am struck by one last thing. "The sparks... Stopped..."

***Interlude***

I nod to saber. "Yosh, I think I've got it now." I have been getting lectured by Saber since Lancer retreated a couple hours ago since she realized just how incompetent of a magus I am, she couldn't help but teach me as much as she could about the Holy Grail war, and what it means to be a participant. What she knows is limited she says, for she is only a servant.

She nods in acknowledgement and then grimaces. "This is as far as my knowledge goes. If I recall, each war has an attendant that could better answer your questions. He should be at a church of some sort."

"Oh, like the big church on the south side of Shinto? That is the only church I know." I interject thoughtfully. I never go to that church, maybe because I'm not religious, or maybe because it hold painful memories of my past. I can almost smell the soot and burning dead, even though that happened ten years ago.

"But that can wait until your wound heals. You got hurt pretty badly by Lancer's... Noble Phantasm was it?" I stop worrying about the war, and start worrying about Saber. She took a hit right in the chest from that red lance that killed me once, and nearly did a second time.

In response, she puts a hand on her chest. "The surface of the wound has healed but I still have not fully recovered. A wound from a cursed lance like that should take significant time to heal, but it should not inconvenience my fighting now that I have had a chance to rest. More importantly, we have discovered the identity of a servant... The cursed lance Gae Bolg, only the Hound of Ulster would wield such a weapon. Cú Chulainn"

"Kuu-Ku what now?" I say, puzzled.

Saber sighs "No, his name is... wait, I feel a servant approaching. You should stay here while I take care of it. You are clearly not ready for battle."

She dashes out of the house like lightning, her armor and invisible sword appearing from seemingly nowhere, or at least so much as I can SEE an invisible sword, which is not at all.

I hesitate a moment. "She really is beautiful, even ready for battle..." I mutter "Wait... battle?" She is gone before I think to call her, and a moment later the sound of weapons clashing shakes from the other side of the wall. I should think, but I don't, not even about how I could manage to protect her. I just run thinking 'I can't let her get hurt!'.

The sounds of 'battle' continue as I run to the front gate, but as I draw closer to it I hear something else. 'Coughing?'. I push the sound from my mind as the gate clacks open and I run through. "Saber! What are you doing?" the situation sinks through my eyes like water into a sponge, and registers in my mind long after I bellow out the words.

Saber is fighting a man in red armor. He is wielding two swords, one black, one white, and I get the sense that he is very dangerous. Behind him, what looks like a female is standing in the darkness. 'Must be the other master' I reason. But off to the side... is something even stranger...

A man not that much older than me, propped up against the wall around my home, doubled over in pain. He stands far enough ahead to not be masked in the shadows, and even from here I can see the trouble he is having breathing. 'Was he attacked? Is this other master some kind of horrible woman that enjoys seeing men suffer?' The exploding blades prevent me from moving forward to find out.

"I am protecting you master, that is what servants do." Saber yells back to me as she parries the black blade and strikes back, only to have her own blade deflected by the white sister blade. Then a horrible retching sound drowns out the fighting. The man near the wall pours a foul mixture of vomit and blood from his mouth, landing nearly face first in it. Everyone is perfectly silent for a moment, even the usually composed Saber can do nothing but gawk.

The first to move is the female bathed in darkness. "Hey, Hey! Tuv-Kun! Are you okay?" She runs towards the downed figure and into the light. 'Ah, It is just Tohsaka... I'm relieved...' My mind melts.

"**WHAA~T? T-T-T-Tohsaka-San!**" I rush past the two statues formally known as Servants. "What are you doing? It's dangerous here!"

"What?" She asks me with indignation "What are you blathering about? Can't you see that he isn't breathing? Help me carry him inside!"

"Bu-... Alright..." I was going to argue, but relent. This is one person I shouldn't fight with. "Saber, come help us." I say resolutely. But she just stays staring at the man in red armor. She glares closely as Rin and I pass by, carrying the man inside, before scowling and following after us.

The man in red mumbles something that Saber doesn't seem to hear. It sounded like... "Well, that's one way to do it..." something like that. I get a bad feeling, but it can't be helped right now.

***Interlude Out***


	3. Chapter 2

**Author's Note**: So... this chapter hurt to write. It took forever and just didn't flow when I wrote it. I'm about as happy with this as the prologue honestly, which isn't very.

As far as this chapter goes, well, things just keep getting worse for me. This is only day four, and irreparable damage has been done to the canon narrative, though the repercussions haven't quite had time to catch up just yet.

***SPOILERS***

So the interlude with Shirou and gang meeting Ilya. I've re-played the game, and the only time Taiga meets Ilya is in the epilogue of Fate, so one may ask. "Tuv, even though the epilogue doesn't go into much detail, it didn't seem like Ilya's heritage was ever brought up, because she ended up living with Fujimura!". To that, I have to give Taiga some credit that may or may not be deserving. She is clearly "capable" of acting like an adult on occasion, sometimes showing very high levels of competence and understanding that are very far removed from her normal... antics. She also seems to have the psychic ability to just know when Shirou is hiding something, especially something embarassing. My thinking is that Taiga does know immediately upon meeting her, and Ilya knows she knows by the events in the epilogue, but both refrain from telling Shirou, because they can both tell the emotional toll that losing Saber put on him. However since things are happening now, I find it almost out of character for Taiga to not do something this outrageous.

***END SPOILERS***

Please read and review, I am looking for feedback here.

All I own is myself.

***Chapter 2 Initialize***

My chest burned, heaved up and down, and gasped for air like a fish denied water. It raged and fought to hold on to life, though the danger had passed, despite the fact that the mind was not truly there any longer. That mind, my mind, was frozen like a block of ice, set aside as unnecessary while my body did it's restorative work. When the immediate danger was gone, it retrieved the ice, battered and crushed it, fragmented and shattered until it fit nicely back into place, and was left to slowly melt back into its original form. That was the feeling I got as my consciousness pieced itself back together.

The first thing that struck me was the pain. The fragile membranes of my respiratory tract screaming in agony with every breath, worn raw in the fevered craze to provide enough of the life-giving gas to prevent my mind from truly ceasing.

Then I felt the exhaustion. Inflammation was the human body's way of trying to force out that which was causing harm, a process necessary for healing to occur. In this case, my body had expended an incredible amount of effort trying to keep out a substance that I considered a rather important part of my life, air.

Once my condition had been accounted for, my slowly thawing mind deigned to begin thinking on my situation. I was laying down somewhere and could feel the burning of the sun through the lids of my eyes. It wasn't night anymore, an easy and simple conclusion, which meant that I had been unconscious for, at the very least, six hours, maybe more.

I put power into my arms, which had about the effect I expected, a whole lot of nothing. It wasn't like I was paralyzed, but my limbs felt like they had decided to join in on my impromptu nap, and hadn't woken up nearly as much as my mind had. I had to force them to move again. "Ah" My voice was disappointed as the movement wasn't significant. What the movement HAD done, is initiated the hard-reboot of my nerves, which of course manifested in the most incredibly agonizing case of pins and needles I had ever before felt.

"Ah, **Damn** it!" I yell in pain and roll around, the pain and tingling makes me want to move and try to flush the pain away. The movement elicits more pain. A horrible cycle of pained expressions that ends after a minute of tortured groans. Thoughts of 'It would have been better if I had just died!' abound for that minute, but are promptly forgotten when the almost... vibrating pain settles down. Footsteps can be heard running towards me, muffled, perhaps through a wall. I decide that opening my eyes might be a good idea by this point, even though that horrible sunlight is there to greet me.

The room is a simple thing, composed of tatami mats and sliding doors, a single window allowing the hellish sun to beam in at my beleaguered form. I am laying on a thin mattress on the floor, which is far too short for someone of my stature, and my feet hang off the opposite end awkwardly.

The shoji slams open to reveal Rin, with a look on her face halfway between concern and annoyance. I see Shirou's eyes poking out from behind her, looking absolutely fearful. Ah, she is mad.

She walks over to me almost shaking. "Baka." _***THWACK***_ She slaps me hard across the face, so hard in fact that it skips aching and goes straight to bruising. "What the hell was that?" She yells, breaking the "serenity" of my waking immediately, not that waking up in excruciating pain was a serene thing to have happen.

"Thank you for that Rin. As if I didn't already hurt enough. Glad to know you care." I cough once to clear out my lungs, it is surprisingly more effective now, and only involved nearly faint-worthy pain and a teaspoon of blood. "As far as "The hell that was" I have a rather severe case of asthma, all that sudden strenuous activity? Bad. Really bad. I would prefer if I was not involved in any of the rest of those situations. So, was there something else in particular you needed? I'm still trying to get my body convinced that I'm not QUITE dead yet, before I try to risk any kind of actual physical activity like, you know, standing up, or lifting my arms."

"It isn't like I ordered you to follow me, besides you would be dead without me here. You BOTH would be dead if I hadn't been there. So you both owe me big time." Her umbrage shone brighter now more than ever. Money was probably involved then, probably one of her gems. Seems my debts just keep stacking up. Goody.

"Let me guess. A gem right? How much did it cost?"

"What how do you know about... oh right..." She stops abruptly, closing her eyes and raising a finger into the air in front of her. "About 100,000 yen. 150,000 for you."

"You devil. I know they are the best match for your particular magic, but can't you use something cheaper?" I understand that the Tohsaka family is almost habitually on the verge of poverty because of those gems, but I don't HAVE anything here, how does she expect me to pay her back?

She grabs me by the collar of the shirt. She thankfully can't lift me up off the ground, but she gets the point across nonetheless. "Why are you so casual about saying something so dangerous? Especially considering there is another Magus here!"

"Relax." I say. "It isn't like Shirou has any idea what that means in the first place. He is a novice, remember? Though I hope that by now you have started teaching him the ropes. Trust me, he'll need it."

She bites at her thumb, and changes the subject. "Whatever. You seem to be feeling well enough to talk back, get your lazy behind up and come to the living room, Shirou made lunch."

"Really? It's lunchtime? How long was I out?" I figured I had only been out for six hours at most, but it being time for lunch would mean I had been out for at least half a day.

"Fourteen hours... You have been out for about fourteen hours since I fixed you up as best I could. Now let's go and eat so I can set the record straight."

She offers her hand, but I turn it down and force myself up. I follow behind the two of them as quickly as I can manage, the smell of food becoming obvious when I leave the room. We arrive in the living room, to see Saber sitting at the low table, undoubtedly awaiting the food. Shirou finishes his preparations, and serves us, the meal surprising me somewhat. Soup and sandwiches, I suppose Shirou didn't want to offend any of us, considering how undoubtedly English Saber, and I are. Rin probably mentioned her preference for western food as well. I eat slowly and methodically, concentrating on my condition.

The meal continues for about ten minutes of absolute silence, before Rin speaks up. "Shirou, thank you for the help, but we will be leaving after lunch."

"What." I say with a mouth full of sandwich, regardless of the social ramifications to being so impolite.

"Just what I said! You, Archer, and me will be leaving now that you are back up and about. Shirou is a master, and while I appreciate all he has done so far, the fact of the matter is that we will have to fight each other. He needs to realize that before he gets himself killed!" Ah, she just killed it. Not that there was conversation before, but she just brutally massacred any chance of normal conversation.

I look down with nothing to say. She has made up her mind, and I won't be able to change it now, regardless of how much I can tell her about the future. But is what I know even useful anymore? Rin was never even supposed to be here today, she was supposed to run off and help Shirou, then take him to the church to have the whole thing explained...

I gulp, my eyes go wide, the realization too much for my brain to handle. They hadn't fought Berserker yet. Which means Ilya is still looking for Shirou...

The phone rings, and I jump, knocking the table up and spilling the remains of my soup, the only bowl of it that remained. I get up to clean the spill, and motion for Shirou to answer the phone. He gives me what I can only call a disappointed look, but agrees. I hear the "Moshi moshi" from the kitchen where I retrieve a towel, and go to sop up the spill, but man am I batting a thousand today with avoiding awkward.

When the phone call is over, Shirou mutters to himself. "What am I, a delivery service?"

"Yes, now get to making that Omelet for Taiga." He gapes at me.

Rin looks at me funnily as well, then urges me to leave. Lunch was basically all over but the dishes, and she had said we would leave after it was done. I can't leave well enough alone though, so I stop to say one more thing.

"Shirou. That little girl with the red eyes that you met yesterday? If you see her again... just run. It won't turn out well for you, even with Saber there."

Rin literally drags me away, and we leave the large Japanese house. We start heading back to the Tohsaka "mansion" on the hill, at a thankfully slow pace. Once we are sufficiently far from where anyone might pass by, she starts yelling at me. Again.

"What the hell was that about?" She is almost going red with anger.

"I... Berserker's master wants Shirou dead. If I hadn't shown up and distracted you, you would have taken Shirou to the church to meet Kotomine, and on the way back... You would have been attacked. Shirou would have taken heavy injuries, and today he would be the one being nursed back to health, not me."

She is dumbstruck again. "I don't know what to think of that, but there will be plenty of time for questions later. You are still hurt, so we will rest at my place, if you are well enough to go out, we will go on patrol tonight. I can't work you too hard though, you are my familiar now, and I can't be irresponsible when taking care of familiars."

"Yes, make sure you take responsibility." It comes out more sing-song than I intended, and makes me feel a bit bad for saying it. I wonder whether she will fall for it or not.

"What do you mean by that?" She seems puzzled. Chance!

"Oh, this and that." I stifle a laugh.

Her brow furrows as she mulls over what I said. "This and that? This and that..." She mutters constantly, eventually descending into repeating the literal translation of it in Japanese over and over. Something snaps in her brain as she realizes what I was implying, and why I was suppressing my laughter.

Her face lights up, and I start laughing. "Hehehahaha! Just don't make me wear too much leather, it chafes!"

She punches me square in the stomach, adding injury to my insult. Well, more injury than there was already.

"Guh." I'm still in a lot of pain, the laughing wasn't helping, but neither was the fist buried in my stomach. I start coughing and fall to the ground again. She is much less sympathetic this time, but I would expect no less. Maybe this whole ordeal isn't as dire as I thought if we can laugh and tease each other like this.

The situation isn't unsalvageable and if need be, I can try and make some kind of life here. It is almost like a dream though, like I could wake up at any time, just... surreal.

My head throbs once when we finally get back to Rin's mansion, the feeling of dread the place exudes washing over me and then breaking like a wave as I step onto the property.

"So what do we do now?" I ask, feeling a bit useless and lost as to the next step.

"'We' Nothing, 'I' will be preparing for patrol tonight. 'You' will be here laying low and keeping out of trouble." She smiles, just a bit, a smile both unassuming and a sign of terror ingrained deep within my mind. "Or else."

***Interlude***

I spent most of the day at the archery range. Saber stubbornly followed me all the way there, saying it was "Too dangerous" for me to go alone. She isn't... wrong, but it was very awkward. Taiga made a big deal about it, and only calmed down with the excuse that Saber was an acquaintance of my father Kiritsugu. Sakura took the news surprisingly well, but didn't talk much the rest of our stay. Because we were all there, it was decided for us to all walk to my home together, so I could cook dinner.

Sakura was still being quiet, and Saber doesn't really seem like the type for small talk. I'm still struggling with all that has happened to me over the last two days; Me being a master, summoning Saber, the Grail War, the school's idol showing up at my house, HER being a master, the servant that I just can't seem to get along with no matter how hard I try, and that other strange man with Tohsaka as well...

Taiga, of course, takes the tense atmosphere as a good chance to tease me, and chatter about senseless things. I don't spare her much of my attention, and she gets an evil gleam in her eyes. She leans over and whispers in my ear. "So. Do you like Saber-chan?"

I freeze and my cheeks light up. Saber and Sakura who were walking quietly behind me and Fuji-nee stop with me, thank god that they can't see my face. "Wha~... What are you talking about?" I try to keep my voice as quiet as possible, and keep my face turned away from the two behind us. I start stammering out something to deflect the question, Saber is beautiful, I would be a fool not to think so, but... love? Then my mind snaps back as something pulls at my pant-leg. Sakura gasps for some reason, and I look down to see a little girl with silver hair, and red eyes.

"Onii-chan, where have you been? I have been looking for you since yesterday." A smile of satisfaction crosses her lips.

"Shirou-kun? Are you sure you aren't mistaking him for someone else little girl?" Taiga says in a sarcastic tone.

"No." She says, her voice is unusually firm for someone that small. But didn't someone tell me something about this? A girl with...

"I am here for Shirou and Kiritsugu. I came from overseas to deal with them." Fuji-nee's face lights up with sudden comprehension, as the little girls eyes look up and lock with hers.

"But you are in my way, so you must die." Is what the silver haired girl would have said, if she had not been suddenly tackled and hoisted into the air by Fujimura.

"I'm sorry, Kiritsugu passed away, you won't be able to see him." Taiga's words make the girl gasp. "So what is your name?"

Silence trails into a very quiet and confused. "Ilyasviel... but..."

"Okay Ilya-chan." She turns her head to me. "**SHIROU! TAKE RESPONSIBILITY. YOU FATHER SEEMS TO HAVE SPENT TIME IN MORE THAN JUST OTHER COUNTRIES. HE CAN'T ANSWER FOR HIS CRIMES, SO YOU NEED TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR LITTLE SISTER. SHE WILL BE STAYING WITH US!**"

Everyone is perfectly silent but Taiga. A passing car forces a breeze through the statues that used to be people.

"**W-W-WHA~~T!**"

"SENPAI?"

"Kiritsugu did what?"

"But... how do you know..."

We all blurt out at once, causing another lingering silence.

Fuji-nee covers the side of her mouth, in an attempt to keep the "adult conversation" away from Ilya's ears. "I expected as much from that man. Saber is probably your sister too Shirou. That would explain why so many young women have shown up looking for Kiritsugu!" She puffs out her chest in pride at having solved the mystery. My mind goes white from the insanity of the statement.

"Tiger! Didn't you just ask me something strange about Saber, and now you are saying we are related? What is wrong with you?"

We argue for a long while as we start walking again, Ilya in Fuji-nee's arms. We finally get back to my house with no progress having been made in convincing Taiga that I do not have numerous illegitimate siblings from around the world that I am responsible for because I was the only one around when he died. Ilya looks mortified as does Saber, Sakura is speechless at the sudden revelation and I'm trying not to lose consciousness from the absurdity of it all. Once Taiga gets convinced of something, you can't change her mind, and I find myself wondering offhandedly as I begin cooking an even larger meal than I needed to before, that maybe it could be possible...

***Interlude Out***

It is nearly midnight and Rin, Archer, and I are at a factory at the edge of Shinto. Rin detected life force being stolen from the area, and it was trivial for Archer to find the exact building. What we weren't expecting was the boney humanoid creatures, stumbling around with long vicious weapons.

I was the most surprised of the three, since I didn't recall there ever being resistance here, Rin and Archer just walked in. The resistance that the creatures presented was trifling at best, but the fact that they were there, meant that Caster was acting strangely. Had she heard one of our conversations, and decided to try and kill me? I don't know, and that bothers me.

Rin's fingers grap the door handle, and peel it back like a rotting fruit. At least, one would think it were a rotting fruit from the stench.

"What is this smell? Can you tell, Archer?... Hemlock? What? The culprit not only took their magical energy, but made the men impotent as well?... Stop talking and open the windows, they are still breathing." Rin has a one sided conversation with someone I can't see, and orders windows opened. I comply as well, ignoring any danger to myself from any of the Hemlock still remaining in the air.

"But all we know is that Caster is a witch of some sort? One that hates men? That isn't very useful at all." We start to leave after checking to make sure all the unconscious workers will be fine, but I stop over one of the piles of bones, and lift a shard up.

"I hear human-shaped creatures made of dragon's teeth are magic used by the king of Colchis. I hear that his daughter, Medea, was famed as an excellent witch." I grin and drop a bombshell, one that Archer himself would have eventually dropped a little more than a week from now, had I not beaten him to the punch.

"What? How can you be so sure about that?" Despite my record of success, Rin continues to disbelieve my statements.

"It all fits though doesn't it?" I say "Those skeletons are most obviously from the age of gods, and what other servant would hate men so much as to go out of their way to make them impotent? Believe me or not, I know I am right about this."

She sighs loudly, as if in protest, but finally relents. "It looks like Archer shares your opinion, so I can't argue. But that doesn't mean I am happy about this. Nor am I happy about you forcing me to let you follow us. In fact, I think a proper punishment should be applied when we return."

She is facing away from me, but I can feel the grin. My spine goes cold, and stays that way the whole trip back. I am exhausted when we finally return for the second time today, and I remember something important that my mind has been putting off for it's own sake.

"Uhhh... that reminds me Rin... where am I going to sleep?"

"Ah yes Tuv-kun. I had time to prepare it before we went out tonight. Follow me." I am worried, very worried, but all I can do is follow her. But why are we going down? Into the... basement...

She points to a small rug on the stone floor. "This is your bed. I was just going to tease you, and let you sleep in my father's bedroom, but since you needed punishing anyways... hehe."

"I refuse. There are many embarrassments that I would be willing to endure, but this is a step too far Rin." I walk over and kick at the rug in disgust.

"Who ever said you were allowed to refuse? You are my familiar now, and you will follow my orders and do what I say." My mind screams at me but to no avail. "Now then familiar, this is your bed, and you will not sleep anywhere but here."

"What are you talking about? I sleep on the couch if it is such a big fu..." My throat seizes up, and I fall to the floor.

"Now sleep. I expect to see you up bright and early tomorrow! Hahahaha!" She runs back upstairs saying something that is obviously a lie. Bright and early to her is noon. But I can't complain as I am already half asleep, my eyelids falling like bricks. I try and throw one last token defiance through gritted teeth.

"Rin...! I am not... your... pet..." and then there was blackness.


	4. Chapter 3

**Author's Note**: So, if you wondered where the Horror was in the Drama/Horror? Here you are. This is my longest chapter by far, (About 50% longer in fact.) but I am not sure if this length is a sign that I am just naturally writing more, or if the story just requires more writing to get through a chapter. We will see.

If you think there were sharks jumped, tell me, if you think characters are acting out of character, tell me, if I made a glaring canonical error, and should end my life in shame? Tell me.

Read and review, I am looking for feedback here.

All I own is myself.

***Engaging Chapter 3***

That night was hell, truly hell. Well, no, I suppose it could have been worse. Hell would be something like being forced into a room with a dozen Tohsakas, and you owe them all money, or something outrageous like that. This was a much more tolerable hell, tossing and turning on a rug atop a cold stone floor. A RUG. "Pets get far better treatment than this." was all I could think about every time I woke up and had to change position to allow blood flow back into the limb I was using as a makeshift cushion at the time, or move off that damnable bracelet because I had rolled onto it. My asthma had cleared up entirely, and my lungs and throat were feeling less raw. I was also sure that I would not have spinal problems for a good long while, stone is very supportive to the lower back. All-in-all, it was not the WORST sleeping experience I had ever had, but it did give me time to reflect.

Most of this time was used plotting revenge, but it was time of reflection nonetheless.

"Okay, I'm not in the best of situations here. I basically forked myself over to one of the more... sadistic masters. She has a nice side, I know this, but most of her "nice" was towards Shirou. Because she LIKES him. She doesn't like me, well she might, but that is pretty unlikely honestly. I am a source of information for her."

"Strange that she hasn't forced more out of me by now. I figured she would have me spill everything right away, then throw me out, or wipe my memory, or KILL me. It wouldn't be hard, since I can't resist any kind of magecraft she could want to use on me, I just hope she doesn't ever resort to that."

It feels like an eternity has passed, but that is a lie too. My internal clock is more... malleable than others', I blame it on being a NEET. I push down on the floor, and get up on all fours. That must mean it is morning, every other time I had tried, I just couldn't bring myself to get up farther and a few inches. I felt my body wanting to draw me upstairs, like there was something delicious up there. It was just a prodding, but if I refused I had no idea what would end up happening. I would break, probably. It seemed more like a curse than anything else.

"Damn geas, and it's damn absolute orders." I curse to myself.

Something in my head clicked.

"Absolute orders..."

The grin that passed my face could well have rivaled the grinch by that point. But I had to be sure. I went up the stairs, letting that feeling of compulsion guide me. I was careful, but not really to be quiet, I was just afraid of popping this little bubble of hope, of revenge. The door creaked open, and I entered the sitting room. The clock stood defiant on the wall, a line of black running from bottom to top, and I couldn't help but let out an evil little chuckle.

"Six in the morning. Time for a wake-up call!"

The stairs to the second floor weren't scaled much more quickly, but not for lack of trying, all this excitement would boil away in an instant if she woke up on her own. A doubtful occurrence but again not something I was willing to risk. The second floor was as desolate as the rest of the house was, and I padded down the hallway as carefully as I could. Rin really is a carefree person though, sharing her house with two men, and she leaves the door to her bedroom wide-open.

Then there was pressure, was it pressure? Maybe fear. Something brushes up against my neck. "Ah, Archer" I had almost forgotten. He wouldn't just LET me wander into her room while she was asleep, he is her servant, that would be unacceptable. But I was her servant now too, in a way. In a voice that is almost a whisper. "Now now Archer, I am merely following orders."

Yes, orders like "Sleep! I expect to see you up bright and early tomorrow!". She can't very well see me if she is asleep, so to fulfill the order, I just have to wake her up! Even though I can't see anything, the pressure dissipates, and I feel like he must have his arms at his sides, shaking his head like it just can't be helped then.

Slowly... slowly... I creep over. She almost looks cute like that and a more... interested... person would probably spend extra time soaking in her appearance, but that can only delay the sweet SWEET justice. I poke the mass underneath the sheets. "Oh Rin, it is time to wake up." I say in a barely audible voice.

"Fuunyaa~" and she flips over so that she is facing away from me. I draw as close as I can to the back of her head. Other people might remark about the smell of her hair, or something sappy like that, however the only remark I could make was...

"**IT IS TIME TO GET UP TOHSAKA!**" As loud as I could manage.

It actually hurt quite a bit to shout like that, I still hadn't completely healed. But this pain? This pain was worth it.

"HWAAAA~~~HN!" She rolls over several times, and off the other side of the bed. She is going be so pissed in a few minutes, but it was SO worth it.

She reaches up over the side of the bed, reaching blindly and ineffectually on the sideboard until she finds what she was looking for. A small standing clock. It recedes with her hand, and is then brought back up and replaced with an audible *Clonk*. A head of disheveled hair pops up and then a pair of eyes that don't seem to quite grasp the situation yet.

They are met with my most beaming, pearly, fake smile to date. That last part REALLY showed.

***Scene Break***

It had been thirty minutes since then, she had two cups of tea, I had one. There was an almost pregnant tension in the air, that neither of us broke. Maybe she was trying to give me time to grasp the gravity of the situation, to grasp just how much hot water I had landed in. I took it in stride this time, I had chosen this path, and there was no going back.

She breaks first. "So... Tell me Tuv-kun. Why is it that you saw fit to wake me up at Six o' clock in the morning?" There was venom there, and that smile... THAT SMILE... But I endured with but a wince, I had to.

"About that..." I said. "I couldn't help it."

"You couldn't WHAT now? That isn't a very good excuse you know, and it won't be getting you off the hook either."

The hatred bursts forth like a dam giving way. But my happiness can't be broken by merely this, instead it is even fed by the anger. But I can't let it show on my face, the barest of grins tries to quirk from the side of my mouth, and I quench it as quickly as I can.

"Last night... when you gave me that order? 'See you bright and early tomorrow.' or something like that was it? I suppose my geas just took the orders a little too... literally. I was compelled to do that, I didn't even have a choice in the matter to be perfectly honest."

"Oh, is that so? And it 'compelled' you to yell at the top of your lungs to wake me up? I don't even want to THINK of what you were doing before that either. You really don't have any shame do you? Sneaking into a girl's room like some creepy pervert."

She 'hmphed' the way she does when she knows she has won, a confident measure used against cornered prey. She HAD worked me into a corner in a manner of speaking, there really wasn't much I could do to satisfactorily dispute the reason for my "excessive" behavior. The only thing that could possibly exonerate me would be something like a witness testimony...

"I tried several times you know, you aren't an easy person to wake up." Several in this case meant twice, if you counted the one that woke her up of course. "But Archer probably saw everything right? He would keep his master safe, in fact he even tried to stop me until I appraised him of the situation. Just ask him."

And now I prayed. Archer could do a few things, he could tell the whole truth and ruin me, but that was the least fun, and so I prayed that he was in a fun mood. He could tell the truth, but be vague about it, essentially proving me innocent and showing mercy to my prank, and so I prayed that he was feeling merciful. Or he could embellish the hell out of it, call my bluff, raise it, and turn the tables on Rin in the most awesome way possible, so I prayed that he was GAR.

"Is that true Archer? Tell me exactly what happened."

She stares transfixed at a spot in the air for awhile. "Hmm, If that is all true, then I suppose there isn't anything that can be done." she looks at me for a moment before her head twists to the side in outrage. "I WOULDN'T HAVE USED THAT COMMAND SPELL IF YOU WEREN'T SO STUBBORN! How I word my orders is my own business!"

"Uhhh, okay, so does that mean I am not in trouble?"

"Well, I wouldn't say that, but you aren't accountable for your actions in this case, so I guess I can let it slide this time."

"Oh, well that is good. But I have a bit of a problem Rin... I uhh, I need clothes, I haven't had a change of clothes or shower in two days. I would also really appreciate something a bit better for, well, sleeping accommodations. I already owe you a lot, and I've already told you who Caster is, so how about you pick someone else to know more about? Fair is fair and all."

"What?" She just stares blankly at me.

She doesn't seem to understand, maybe she never expected me to suggest something like that? Or maybe she still doesn't believe me about my knowledge... I'll be a bit insensitive then. "If you don't want to spend any money on me, you could let me use something you have. You still have some of your father's clothes right? And he had a room too I bet, perhaps you would let me use those?"

"How dare you even suggest that! And how am I supposed to even know if what you are saying is true?" She is very nearly screaming at me, slamming a hand against the table to demonstrate her anger, but backing down would just leave me in an inferior position for the forseeable future, and that just wasn't in the cards. I think for a moment on my wording while she is still fuming, and come up with a good way of handling her rather... volatile temper.

"Relax, we don't have to agree to the deal right now. How about I give you something you can verify yourself, a freebie of sorts? It won't really take any real effort on your part, and then you can be sure that I know what I say I know."

"I'm listening."

"Go to school like normal today, just like you would any other day, easy. Shirou will bother you after school, but without his servant. She can't even dematerialize, so there is no way he would bring her to school. Teach him what a stupid idea it is for a master to be out without their servant, but you would do that to him anyways, wouldn't you? During the fight however, a master will attack a student that was too late in leaving. Don't worry, she will be fine if you treat her, she just got some of her life drained. She will be near a set of double doors, cracked ever so slightly, and the enemy master will have his servant attack you with a projectile-like weapon. Just make sure you have Archer on standby nearby to protect you, and all should be well."

"That all sounds very farfetched Tuv-kun. But the going to school part doesn't seem to be any different from what I was planning on doing anyways. Fine, if your crazy predictions are true, then maybe I will believe you. I was planning on having Archer patrolling while I was at school, but a stakeout suits him fine too. The problem then is you, I can't very well leave you alone here undefended."

"No, that is fine, I'm not worried about being attacked. The master in question only cares about you, so I don't have any worries from him, and really who has a grudge against me large enough to break into a Magus' house just to harm a normal person, heck, I don't even think they know I am here, since I can't use magic, I shouldn't have anything that they can lock on to even if they DID want to hurt me."

Grumbling in thought is followed by biting a finger as she agonizes over what she should do, so I push her along.

"I'm kind of like a possession now, like a lamp, are you really so attached to one of your lamps as to post an armed guard?"

With that she relents, it was a little demeaning, but if all goes well, I should be able to have clean clothes and a clean bed by tonight. It was just a matter of waiting now.

***Interlude***

It had all happened like he said, Shirou showed up like a dumbass, and I had to show him that we were enemies. A girl was attacked, and it was just a lure to attack me. Shirou jumped in the way of the dagger... thing, but Archer deflected the attack before it got into the building. We gave chase, and lo and behold, it was Shinji! Of all people to become a master, Shinji had somehow managed it. It actually made me a little sick, how many amateurs would there be? Shinji was outgunned and ran away, just how fast was his servant? No, she wasn't fast, just unusually... jumpy. We didn't try and chase him, there was no point, he couldn't win in a stand up fight and could be dealt with at any time. What I wasn't expecting was the sound shortly thereafter. Shinji screamed, and I could hear wet sloppy noises echoing off the trees.

"Archer! Let's go!" My call is answered almost immediately as I feel the ground fall out from underneath me. We manage to catch up, but it... wasn't a pretty sight. Shinji sat huddle at the foot of a tree, covered in blood.

"Rider! How could you let them do that to you Rider?"

He was hysterical, and yelling at what remained of his servant. She was almost literally in pieces, and began fading away not long after I stumbled on the scene. He kept yelling for a long time, ranting about the cloaked figure and the man that showed up out of nowhere, dispatched his servant, and were gone in a flash. His whining was starting to get on my nerves.

"Shinji!" I call out his name but he just keeps looking at where Rider was laying, gibbering to himself. So I walk over to snap him out of it by force. He is covered in a lot of blood, so I have Archer pin him up against the tree to make him pay attention to me.

"Shinji. Your servant is dead, if you don't want to die as well, run to the church for protection." I lay down the law and signal Archer to let him down. He runs away as fast as he can, stumbling on the roots below the canopy of trees, and glancing back every couple of feet as though something might have changed since the last time he looked. As he finally gets far enough away that I can't see him, Shirou finally catches up.

"Tohsaka-san! Is everything alright?"

"Oh yes Emiya-kun, just a master being eliminated. I should deal with you too honestly, but that was more than enough excitement for one day, so I will give you a pardon for today only. Go back home, and the next time we meet we will be enemies again."

"But I just..." He sputters, but I am turned around before he can get a word in edgewise. I have bigger problems to deal with right now. If Tuv was right about this, he might not have been lying about knowing the events of the war... if that is the case, then I may have the most valuable resource one could get, and I need to make sure it stays loyal...

***Interlude Out***

"I'm home!" is what I hear when Rin returns. It sounds awkward, probably because she isn't used to there being anyone else living in her house.

"So, was your day... familiar at all?" The giddiness is apparent in my voice, in fact I accentuated it on purpose.

She recounts the day's events, being largely what I had expected with the addition of Archer's intervention. But from then on, the story took a worrying turn.

"He was just standing there, his servant mangled in the middle of the woods behind the school. Babbling about a robed servant, probably caster since we didn't find anyone when we arrived, it must have been teleportation of some sort."

That was wrong. Sure, Caster does kill Rider, but that shouldn't have happened for a few days! Things were starting to get weird, and it left bad feeling in my gut. Something was wrong was going on here, and it might be my own fault. That is scary in its own way.

"Regardless, I have a better opinion of you and your knowledge now. I'm willing to consider your deal now. You want to use my father's clothes and bedroom? Fine. But there is something I want to know. What is Archer's name? He doesn't remember because I... well, it doesn't matter why, but he doesn't remember, and it is important that I know."

"I... I..." My mind stutters along with my words, this is dangerous territory to be sure. I can't be sure how Archer will react if I say it truthfully... there is never any indication as to whether he legitimately doesn't remember, or if it is just an act, but that is not something I want to risk. "I uhh, can't tell you that Rin."

"What? You spend all this time flaunting your supposed knowledge of everything in this war, and you can't answer that? What kind of two-bit snake oil salesman are you?"

"I just... it wouldn't be a good idea for me to answer that question. If you have suspicions, they are probably right, but answering would likely be bad for my health." I of course mean that Archer would probably cut me down before I could get past the "E" in "EMIYA", and I am allergic to sword wounds. "Let's call that one a bust... please... ask about someone else."

"Fine, whatever. We already fought Lancer and Saber, and Rider is dead already so that doesn't matter much to me. You already told me who Caster is, so that leaves the only two unknowns at Assassin and Berserker. Berserker might be strong in a stand up fight, but I have Archer, so I guess you should tell me about Assassin."

Phew, I breathe a sigh of relief. She picked someone easy to explain. "Assassin's true name is Sasaki Kojiro..."

"What? THAT Sasaki Kojiro?"

"Yes, shut up I'm not finished. He was actually summoned by Caster, and is being used as a guard at the Ryoudou Temple, where Caster is currently hiding..."

"WHAT? Servants can't summon other servants! That is cheating!"

"Yes, yes, remember what caster has been doing around town? That is to support the false summoning. In addition, Sasaki Kojiro is a fictional character invented by Miyamoto Musashi to give himself a rival in the stories of his exploits. A fake servant summoned with a fake ritual, he has no Noble Phantasm, but can actually take Saber in a straight up fight. His skills as an actual Assassin are poor however."

"You mentioned a lot more than just about Assassin. I expected you to keep tight-lipped about Assassin's master, because that isn't what I asked for..."

"God damnit, you are right. I'll have to be more careful with the information that I give out from here on out."

"Oh no you don't Tuv-kun. I agreed to this deal, and you will get your clothes, bed, and shower time. But you have proven yourself a useful resource, and you have to remember, you are a resource that I have total control over. From now on, you will see to it that I am the one who wins the Grail War. Don't worry about anything else, just concentrate on winning the war for me. That is an order."

The command almost seems to take physical form, burrowing itself into the back of my head. My apprehension about my situation seems to wash away in an instant, and I am filled with an overwhelming sense of clarity. I can help her, win with my knowledge, I can, and I will. The best way to win the war for her is to eliminate masters, she could never go through with it herself, but I shouldn't be worried about silly things like morality. No, in fact, I shouldn't feel bad at all, feelings like that would just get in the way of doing what I have to do, I think there is something wrong with that, but it works, so why question it? Rin could never kill masters, she is just too nice on the inside, no, I have to be the one to do this for her sake. But really? Killing? Why am I suddenly thinking of something so morbid?

"Rin, I am going to go gather up a change of clothes, and have a soak. Then I will step outside, I have some things to do in town. Okay?"

"You seem awfully enthusiastic all of a sudden Tuv-kun, but you did always seem like the kind of person that needs proper direction to get anything done. I'm not going to be giving you any money though, you owe me enough already, so don't expect to be buying anything.

"Oh no Rin, I don't plan on needing to bring money, don't worry."

She nods her assent, and I go upstairs. I find Tokiomi's room quite easily, and raid his dresser. "Ah, blood red, that shall be quite fitting, no?" All of his clothes are quite formal and tailored, but his measurements don't seem that far off from mine to be honest, if anything they might be a little short, but that shouldn't prove problematic unless I need to rush off somewhere.

I take a short bath that was quite relaxing, and I smell much better. I need to be looking my best for what is to come. I put on the suit, but eschew all of the footwear in favor of what I already had. I'll pick something more fitting out when I am in Shinto. I raid his room for bits an knicknacks. A nice foldable knife with some engravings of some sort in what looks like some kind of horn, a silver pocketwatch, and other small objects of value.

I feel a pang of regret for a moment, but it is swallowed up into a void, like a hole in my mind that removes it as unnecessary, leaving only the thought, but not the emotion.

_What am I doing?_

I leave his room and head down the hallway, taking a detour into Rin's bedroom. On the far dresser I spy my aim, a small jewelry box. I gingerly open it up, and find a red gem on a silver chain. A momento of her dear deceased father, used to resurrect Emiya Shirou, and given back to her by Archer because he kept it with him his entire life. Such a large gem would sell wonderfully in an auction, and would be good for a quick influx of cash which I will be needing quite soon.

_Why am I doing this?_

I put the necklace into my breast pocket, along with the pocket watch that I think I will be keeping, it should prove quite useful in the days to come, and I rather fancy the look of silver. Down the stairs I go, where I see Rin. She glances at me nervously, perhaps I dredged up bad memories by wearing these clothes?

"I'll be back in a few hours."

"Y-you should be more worried about yourself! What if you get attacked while you are out?"

"I am just a normal person Rin, and anyone who knows my value would keep me alive. But I am also your familiar, so you should know if anything bad happens to me immediately, so you can send Archer to rescue me. I just need a break, for a few hours, some time to myself, okay? I'll be fine."

"Hmph, whatever then. Do what you want, I'll stay here and actually work on winning the war. Slacker."

I wave and walk out the door, ignoring her taunting.

***Scene Break***

I walked myself leisurely to Shinto, where I could find most of the shops I was looking for. The sun was starting to dip behind the horizon, but everything should be open for another hour or two, and so I set to work.

First was to find a pawn shop, which I accomplished with next to no effort whatsoever. Even though I don't know Japanese and couldn't read any of the signs all pawn shops seem to look, and smell, the same. I sold the pocket knife and knickknacks I had stashed about my person for about 15,000 yen.

Next I found a store that sold disposable cellphones and picked one up, along with a pad of paper and pens. I'm surprised anyone sold me anything, I surely was the most noticeable person in town at the time. Taller than every person I saw, and wearing a blood red suit nearly as white as a sheet, and quite blonde hair, I was sure to turn heads. Nobody had the nerve to confront me, and I don't blame them, I was scary, and what I was doing was scaring me too. But I think the intimidation helped me in the end, because I didn't need to engage in a whole lot of conversation.

My last trip was to an internet cafe, and I ended up spending the rest of what I had getting a hold on a computer. I looked up an international jeweler that spoke English, thank god, and had Japanese branches. I managed to convince them that I was unwilling to transport the piece myself, and got them to call a courier in on my behalf. They would get someone to me from the nearest branch, pick me up, take me there for the transaction, and then bring me back, but it would be 45 minutes each trip, so I had time to kill.

That time I used taking notes on various things. Wiring, timers, switches, deadman's triggers, and the like. A few trips to shady sites to learn how to make pipe bombs and IEDs. If I was going to be getting rid of masters, that was the surest way right?

_WHAT AM I DOING?_

I made sure to delete the records of my travels on the computer, it was public and I knew better than to leave such things just sitting around. It was a short time before the card came to pick me up, thankfully I was dressed for success, and I managed to talk to a representative that spoke English. It was nighttime proper when I finally got back to Fuyuki, 300,000 yen richer. I was honestly surprised at how much that gem was worth, but it WAS a very large ruby of unnatural clarity, and had quite a bit of antiquity to it, so I think I got a good deal all told.

A quick swing to the outskirts of town found me both a storage yard, where I bought a container for a week, and a 24-hour hardware store where I picked up tools and supplies to complete my dark deeds. I did my work in the storage container itself, free from prying eyes and the like. Another 30 minutes and I had my first IED.

The question now was who to use it on? Getting into Shirou's house would be a chore with Saber around, and that damn boundary field, far too risky. I would GREATLY enjoy killing Shinji, but he isn't a master, Sakura is, and I can't expect to be getting past Zouken. Going after her now would be impossible, my best bet for her is to catch both Shirou and her at the same time, which would require me getting access to his house... bad odds on that.

Kuzuki Souichirou was a workable option, and setting up a bomb in the school would be easy, but I don't know exactly when or where his classes are, and I would need to be sure of where Rin is. I will have to ask about that tomorrow.

_Is this me? It must be but..._

No, the best bet for now would be Kotomine Kirei, that damnable fake priest. Yesterday was sunday, so I can't expect there to be a sermon any time soon. Instead, how about I leave an anonymous "donation" to the church? "Ahaha yes, perfect."

I put the improvised explosive device into a box just barely big enough to fit it and set it with a trigger, an improvised blasting cap, attached to a string glued to the box lid. It should be powerful enough to take out a tank tread, so it should manage to remove Kirei from the game no matter how durable he managed to be. I use a black marker to draw a big yen symbol on the top of the box, close up my storage container, and head off with my deadly offering.

***Interlude***

The Church had strange acoustics, making almost any conversation sound more grandoise that it had any right to. This effect was largely lost on Matou Shinji's incessant whining. Regardless, Kirei listened on stoically.

"Rider was just a piece of shit! I didn't deserve such an awful servant! How could she get killed? It just isn't fair!"

"So does that mean you are still willing to fight?" His voice is so deep and powerful, that even someone as simple and angry as Shinji knows the gravity of his words. "Because it just so happens that there is another servant availa..."

*THUNK THWACK THOCK*

A loud knocking issues forth from the front doors of the church. Neither Kirei nor Shinji move, both flabbergasted. Who knocks at a church? Honestly? They wait for someone to enter, but that someone never arrives.

"One moment, I must be sure that someone has not died on my doorstep. Please excuse me."

He heads to the front, opens the large wooden doors, and catches a glimpse of a figure in the distance.

"Those clothes seem... familiar somehow, but I cannot place why."

He takes a step outside, and kicks a small box with a comically large yen symbol painted on the top.

"A donation, at this hour? How odd."

Pivoting on his heels, he turns around with box in hand, closes the large wooden doors again, and returns to his conversation with the wayward master.

"Who the hell was it old man?"

"Just an... unusually large donation." He says, heaving the box up higher into the air. It is certainly heavier that its size would suggest, but it also wouldn't be the first time that someone tried to donate in precious metals, or crosses, or other various things of little consequence. "Allow me a moment to take care of it, and we can return to our previous conversation."

"Fuck that! I want to be a master again dammit!" He rushes over and throws a punch at that mountain of a figure. He realizes what a stupid idea it was almost immediately when aformentioned mountain doesn't budge, or acknowledge his presence. He merely begins opening the strange box wordlessly. Shinji, being lower to the ground, actually gets a peek into the box before the top comes all the way off. "Hey, that doesn't look like any kind of offering I have ever see..."

A torrent of sound, light, force, and shrapnel was released next to the head of Matou Shinji, and into the chest of Kotomine Kirei. And so in that overwhelming torrent, their lights were snuffed out.

***Interlude Out***

A cacophonic bang can be heard some distance behind me, and the rush of wind as displaced air buffets my back let me know that at least SOMEONE had died. I really hoped it was Kotomine, because if it wasn't, he would be quite on guard the next time I tried anything.

I reach into the breast pocket of the suit's jacket, removing the silver pocket watch and letting my hand soak up the pleasant coolness of the metal. I flip it open, a small "Snikt" seems to echo across the street around me as though to drive home just how empty the city is. "Ah, is it that late already? Rin has probably worried herself to tears." I chuckle to myself, a joke only I seem to get, before pushing off into the darkness and the cold bitter night.


	5. Chapter 4

**Author's Note**: This chapter is my longest yet, and was absolutely hellish to write. My muse definitely was not with me in any capacity. It is only about 1,000 words more than Chapter 3 but took, what, three times as long to write? Four times? I stopped counting after awhile honestly.

I still refuse to write action scenes that do not end with me passing out or being otherwise incapacitated, and I'm not sure if that will change in the forseeable future. But things definitely go from bad, to worse, to even worse than _THAT_, as far as the storyline goes.

Rin continues to be difficult to write for, big surprise, tsunderes being difficult eh?

Lots of stuff ends up happening in this chapter, maybe a bit _too_ much. Lots of revelations, and lots of groundwork for future chapters. I tried to keep it as interesting as possible, but don't know if I succeeded.

Please read and review, I am looking for feedback here.

All I own is myself.

***Chapter 4 _Gattai Da!_***

I started running at some point, though I can't recall when or why. Something made me feel uneasy and so my walk back to the mansion became a jog. It almost felt like something bad was going to happen and so I would be better off being somewhere else when it did. It nags at me a bit, my thoughts suddenly unconcerned with my planning and plotting, and the unmistakeable feeling of being chased... Thankfully it subsides along with the seemingly unwarranted workout as the Tohsaka Mansion comes into view.

I calm down, and take a moment to catch my breath. I have no idea what Rin will be doing, or even if she will still be awake. If I run in panting she might get the wrong idea, or ask questions... So I compose myself, and casually stride forward, my mind abuzz with excuses to explain my lateness. She definitely wouldn't be happy with me, especially not if she has any idea of what I did tonight.

Stray thoughts of the events of the night would easily give me away, so I can't show any weakness of mind or body. I can't give her any reason to stand in my way or I won't be able to win the war for her anymore, and that is unacceptable. The doorknob feels cool in my hand, and twists almost tauntingly easily. The slightly warmer air from inside blows against my face, shocking the chill from my skin.

I am of course greeted by the figure of Rin, just not in the manner I was expecting. Instead of her rushing up and giving me an earful of complaints, she is sitting on the couch, peacefully asleep. Did she wait there for me or something?

I sigh and shrug, there is nothing else to be done. I softly climb the stairs and then rummage up a blanket. Being careful not to wake her up, a drape it over her. How cliché, but perhaps this is just the kind of thing I needed to deflect suspicion? With all my business done, I return to Tokiomi's room and make sure to close and lock the door. It turns with a heavy click that I feel all the way to the core of my body.

"Hahhhhh~" I breathe out with all my might, and the strength drains from my body with the breath. I am suddenly acutely aware of a couple things. The first is that my little jog combined with all of the other "events" of the day have left me physically exhausted. The second, however is likely the reason for my haste in returning. The sudden fruition of, and thus lack of murderous plans has given me time to comprehend that I spent the day making and acting upon plots with premeditated murder being the main goal.

I push forward towards the bed, managing only something somewhere between a stumble and crawl between a combination of the severe fatigue and the sheer gravity of my actions hitting me in force. In the end I settle for sitting at the base, my back up against one of the posts to provide some semblance of stability as everything begins to fall apart.

My first loss is composure, the desire to merely begin screaming, crying, or gibbering madly becoming at once, overwhelming. My body forbids me from acting on these sudden emotions, I can't risk waking up or bothering Rin, and the lack of a way to properly release the spontaneous outbursts deals a telling enough blow on my psyche that the feelings wrap around entirely, leading to something that can only be described as a masochistic calmness.

That eerie and unwanted calm allows me to lapse into my second loss, self. I go over the events of the day detachedly, as though it were a movie playing before me that I was forced to watch against my will. I find myself absentmindedly playing with my hands, comparing the feeling of touch with the feelings of the day. The almost somber feeling of Rin's necklace, the antique, almost ceremonial feel of Tokiomi's old possessions, the bleak utilitarian feel of the shutter and walls of a storage container, and finally the almost sensually intimate feeling of an explosive made with one's own two hands...

That isn't something I would do! My mind breaks out of the strange stupor that it was in, finally trying to stand up for itself. Why would I want to hurt anyone? I tell myself that I don't KNOW if anyone was injured by my actions, but the sheer fact that the goal was to cause harm is more than enough for me to hate myself.

When did I start acting strange? That order that Rin gave me, that was when it started. But why am I fine now? "Fine" was of course not a particularly accurate way of describing how I feel, sane might be more apt, but I quickly believe that even that won't be correct for very much longer. The lack of control hurts the most, but even being able to wallow in that feeling and allowing myself to fall into depression is denied to me.

I'm not capable of something like this! But that contract only allows me do things, it doesn't give me the power to do them... So... I was capable of this all along? No, not just capable, but willing? It isn't the command doing it at all... it is me. I am taking the goal of winning the Grail War for my... master, yes, and accomplishing the goal in my own way.

Tears stream down my face silently, there is no sobbing or sniffling, just mourning for the part of me that has died. The part of me that I thought was human all this time, and the actual innocence that was brutally disposed of today. The desire was always there, to act upon those dark thoughts, to act against those that harmed me, I was merely held back by what I now realize was but a lie, even if it was a happy lie.

I crawl from my spot at the foot of Tokiomi's... no I don't need to respect the dead anymore, MY bed. I lay on MY bed in MY house so that I can help MY Master defeat MY enemies, so that in the end, I can claim MY grai... Hah that was strange, what was I thinking just now? I am doing this so Rin can win the war.

I don't waste the effort that getting under the covers would require, instead just scrabbling for a pillow. It is soft and cool against my face, a reminder of the pleasant and easy lie that I still want to cling to, so I bury as deep within it as I can to savor it, even though I can't truly enjoy that feeling anymore.

As I wait for sleep to claim me, I can help but grin a little bit. So much was lost today, but I stand to gain so much more with these revelations.

***Scene Break***

The morning greets me in the most offensive manner it can. The sun is high in the sky, making it closer to noon than morning, and birds can be heard chirping several houses down. They would never be found any closer to this house than that, presumably slightly more aware of the giant "KEEP OUT" sign that the boundary field around the mansion is.

I force my eyes open through the crust and fatigue that last night blessed me with, rubbing the bleariness from them as best I can, and forcing myself up. My head hits something as it rises... Well, "hit" is probably not as accurate as "brushed up against" would be. I strain my eyes to see what it is, my vision not quite at its normal level yet. A piece of paper hangs from the ceiling above my bed.

My heart jumps in my chest, and I find that I am suddenly much more awake. I check the door, still locked, the windows, and finally where I left the key the night before, all untouched. I don't really know if that makes the situation better or worse, but I tug on the paper and free it from the string, it tears a little at the top, but doesn't obscure any of the text so I opt to ignore it.

_"You were an odd one, but I didn't quite expect serial killings. Rin should not be made aware of this, you have your uses and as long as our goals coincide, I don't see a need to stop you. You seem to think you know quite a bit about me, so you should know what would happen if you endanger my Master._

_PS: Emotional control. You shouldn't let that happen every time you partake in your... hobby._

I finish reading the note, and begin to breathe again, long deliberate breaths like I had been out running and was trying to keep my asthma from overreacting. Archer figured out that much? No, he must have followed me... With his eyesight he could watch me from anywhere in town and not raised any suspicion. My only saving grace is that he never brought up that gem. Maybe he only began watching me halfway through, but I have his... blessing? I guess?

I feel violated, embarassed, regretful of my actions, and angry at the fact that he both saw and approves of them. Perhaps feeling these things mean that I still haven't lost my humanity yet, so I engrave them into my mind. He also watched me sleeping. That isn't something I want to imagine, so I leave that bit out.

Quickly changing my clothes into another identical gaudy red suit, I unlock the door, and proceed downstairs. Surprisingly, I see Rin preparing lunch and tea in the kitchen.

"Hey, what are you doing here? I sorta expected you to be at school by now."

She lets out a cute surprised "eep", and turns around to face me. "School? There isn't any reason to go there anymore. Shinji's servant is dead, so there isn't a master there. Besides, the battles will start getting into gear soon, and there is no real time to waste showing up to school for no reason. I took the next two weeks off so I can concentrate on the war."

"Some honor student and school idol you are." I roll my eyes, but cut her off before she can complain. "What is your plan for today, and how can I help?"

She deflates a bit from my insult, and seems to ignore it for now. "Well we know where Caster is and we can't let her continue attacking people around town, so I was trying to think up a way for us to attack Ryoudou Temple. Archer assures me that he could easily take beat Caster, but with Assassin there it seems like too much of a risk. I was waiting for you to wake up to see if you had any kind of insight that might help shift the odds."

"Hmm" I think to myself for a moment, allowing the almost comforting knowledge I have to flood into my mind. "What day is it? Oh, yeah, today is Tuesday. Nevermind." I wave nonchalantly to clear away the strange look Rin was giving me, and take a seat at the nearby table. I was never really good with days, but it is suddenly very important, so my mind is slowly getting used to remembering the day of the week.

"Tonight might actually be the best time to attack Caster. Shirou and Saber should end up at the temple sometime after dark, and Saber can fight Assassin to a standstill and keep him off your back while you deal with Caster. We just have to wait for Shirou to show up, perhaps stage a stakeout somewhere we can see the road to the temple easily. Archer can see pretty far I think, so we might be okay if we stick to the roof of the school. That is pretty nearby, and there won't be anyone out and about that late at the school."

Since Rin isn't going there anymore, it will also give me a chance to get a good look at the building. If we don't beat Caster tonight, there will be two masters I can deal with if I use the school, maybe even three if Shirou still insists on going there for some reason.

Rin finishes making her lunch, and I say "her" because she didn't make any for me, and takes a seat at the table with me. It looked like she was making more than just that, but I guess I teased myself out of a meal. Oh well.

"It sounds like you thought it out pretty well Tuv-kun, we wait for Shirou to do the work for us, then swoop in and accomplish our goals easily. We could end up finishing this war in record time!"

I get a bad feeling. I don't have anything to base that feeling on, perhaps the knowledge that statements like that never end well in stories, but I can't help but worry now. My hesitation probably showed on my face, because Rin takes it and rolls with it.

"Aww, are you getting sad thinking about me winning the war early? Maybe you were looking forward to spending more time working for me? Perhaps you are the kind of person that enjoys relationships like this. Hehehe." She is practically crooning, but it does nothing to allay my fears.

"Maybe..." I answer, not breaking a sweat or cracking a smile, my mind too engrossed in what-ifs. That is a bad habit of mine, when I worry about things I imagine all the ways they could go wrong, it does wonders for staying upbeat.

"Wait..." She looks confused for a moment. "Did you just consider it? How am I supposed to make fun of you if you don't object?"

"I'm sorry, I just have a lot on my mind all of a sudden. I'm going to go out for a bit, you probably have preparations for tonight that you need to make, and you don't need me around bothering you." I walk away forcefully, and Rin raises no objections. It is almost amazing to me that she doesn't just chase me down and force me to listen to her, perhaps she isn't used to it? She'll have to excuse me for trying to keep my emotional distance from a fictional character. I feel bad immediately for thinking that, give a nervous wave and look back, and leave Rin to her devices.

I let my hands fall deep into the suit's pockets, walking aimlessly around town. It isn't a purposeful walk, and that seemed to have been obvious to everyone around me, garnering many more strange looks than the day before. Perhaps their curiosity just got stronger than the urge to leave strange things better off alone.

An hour passes, time spent poorly and for no purpose, my feet have taken me to the great bridge that connects Miyama and Shinto. I move to the center of the bridge, and look out over the water. Memories of my time in this town... in this world, running through my mind. A subtle ringing in my ears begins, slowly becoming louder. I close my eyes to concentrate on it, and it stops immediately. A heavy sigh as my viewing is resumed, but then I am overtaken by the urge to vomit. The water underneath the bridge, the bridge itself, my hands, everything is red like blood.

My first thought is that I accidentally fell asleep, that it was sunset and all was well, but my hands actually feel sticky like they were dunked in that fluid and left for a minute or two to thicken. My body starts to shake, and I breathe in deeply to try and calm it down, but that only makes it worse. The thick cloying scent of iron tinged with a sickening sweetness. I nearly throw up again, and close my eyes to wish it all away, and when I open them everything is back to "normal". That thick red color still coats my torso and legs, but that is merely because I have taken up that color, that purpose. I chose this, and it makes me feel sick.

The loneliness of that bridge sets me on edge, I don't run, but I feel the need to find some place more populated, ANY place. I walk to the end of the bridge, and find a shop to enter, sweet smells mix with the musk of coffee and... curry? marking it as a restaurant of some sort. Only two other customers are present, a teenage boy with black hair, probably not much younger than me, eating with a girl who looks a couple years younger than that and is sporting purple hair. It doesn't look dyed, so her hair must just naturally be that color.

I watch them from across the restaurant, engrossing myself in what they are doing. The conversation is in Japanese, so I can't really immerse myself that way. Instead I take to watching them and their actions, they both have a plate with pie in front of them, but he has only just barely touched his, while she seems to have packed away a couple slices by now. He is wearing glasses and a blue uniform of some sort, while she is wearing a female uniform for what I can only assume is a different school. It is a "sailor" type uniform that suddenly jogs my memory.

Shiki and... Seo? Why would they be here in... I look down at a menu, the name is in Japanese, but there is an English version in subtext off to the side. _"Ahnenerbe"_. The pieces fall into place, and I realize the sheer luck it required to find the location of this particular shop when I did, and for it to conveniently have the one person who I might be able to relate my problems to inside at the time. I want to go over and speak with him, perhaps to ask for his help. I'm sure he would have a unique insight to give me about doing things that you can't quite control, or something like that, but he just looks so... happy, I couldn't possibly bring myself to interrupt him.

I order a coffee, with some effort, and enter the bathroom while it is being prepared. I get halfway through my business when a resounding *CRACK* is issued forth from the stall beside me. I am quite reasonably startled by this, hurriedly finish up and removing myself from the stall. Zelretch greets me with an embarrassed look on his face.

"Y-You! Why are you here?" I start off yelling, but it echoes too painfully in the small restroom, so I lower my voice a bit. "What in the world are you doing here, when you should be trying to find my home?" I don't so much ask as demand.

"I had to make sure you were alright! You entered an inter-dimensional bridge, and I couldn't risk losing track of you. I might never have found you if you ended up in some other world." A subtle grinding noise seems to come from the stall that he emerged from, slowly getting louder and louder.

"And what is that noise Zelretch? It is really bothering me for some reason."

"Oh, uhhh, that." His embarrassment becomes a little more prominent, and he looks away awkwardly. "It seems like when my Refractory Phenomenon interacted with this inter-dimensional bridge, it may have caused the ether to align in a conciliatory manner..."

"I don't even understand that. It sounds like you are trying to confuse me to make me ignore it."

"Basically..." he says "I broke it. Now it is... always on, and doesn't discriminate between where you came from, and where you end up..."

"Soooo anyone in any world connected to this restaurant, can enter here, and end up in any other connected world when they leave, instead of being sent back into the one they arrived from automatically... DO YOU BREAK EVERYTHING YOU TOUCH MAN?"

He sighs heavily. "I'll try to stick around here to make sure everyone comes and goes as they should, so I will have even less time to be looking for your world... I'm sorry but it might end up taking even longer than it would have before."

I say nothing, there is nothing to be said. I rub my temple in annoyance, but there is absolutely nothing I can do about this. "Fine, I'll just buy something I can take back with me and leave. But please, PLEASE, stop making things worse for me. I am having enough trouble as it is." I point at the remains of the wound on my neck, the gauze having been removed since it started healing on its own, and the dead man's clothes I have been wearing.

I get to the bathroom door before he calls out one last time. "Just remember, the only reason you are here is for safe keeping. Do try and stay out of trouble if at all possible."

I try to gulp, or start or babble nervously, but nothing comes out. Instead, that strong sense of purpose overwhelms me again to protect my position. "Hah, there's no way I would let myself get caught up in all this nonsense. I'm actually getting pretty good at avoiding it all, so you have nothing to worry about." He gives a... concerned look? I can't quite tell what he thinks, but he raises no objections.

Out of the bathroom, I pay for the coffee that I never drank, and buy a strawberry pie. Half in a box, and half for the other two at the table. It wasn't quite as difficult to order this time, it was a chore to be sure, but I gained some kind of perverse pleasure in helping the Tohno Gland do its dark work.

When I finally return home Rin is angry, of course. "Why do you always take so long when you are out? You are going to worry me sick!"

The rant would have continued longer, had I not popped open the top of the box. "Zelretch gave me a visit inside a bathroom stall. It took so long that I decided to pick up something to apologize with. So here."

She looks like a deer looking into headlights for a moment, but quickly composes herself. "And how in the hell did you afford that? I sure didn't give you any money, and I don't think you really have the time to be getting a job."

"Going to complain about a gift then eh?" I sigh. "Fine, you caught me. I started turning tricks in a back alley for pocket change. I decided that I would spend it on a present for you, who is being so wonderful in giving me a place to stay, but only had enough in pocket to purchase half of a confection. I could have spent a few more hours "servicing" ne-er-do-wells to obtain enough, but that would have cut into your time, and I couldn't bring myself to inconvenience you master."

"Well then Tuu~v-kun, since you have such a lucrative position, I suppose you can afford to start paying rent on your new home. Of course, if you can't make the payments, well, I'm sure I could use help with some of my... experiments."

If Shirou knows how it feels to have a hot iron rod shoved into his spine, I now know the feeling of a rime-covered one shoved into mine. _"Experiments"_ is the part that worries me the most, I try and imagine what she could mean, but my sanity thinks better and screens that particular image out.

"Don't worry though, I'll wait until tonight's operation is finished. Can't have you bed-ridden when we have a stakeout! Regarding that, we'll leave when it starts getting dark, so be sure to be ready in a couple hours."

"Bed Ridden... Experiments..." I don't know whether to laugh at the silly innuendo that invaded my mind, or run for my life. The net effect is me staring dumbly at empty space for about ten minutes, wondering if she is serious or not. "Who am I kidding? Or course she is serious. I should just run while I can!"

From a room or two away, I hear Rin's slightly muffled voice. "Oh, and Tuv-kun, no running away from me. That is an order."

"Fff-"

***Scene Break***

The night is chill, and the scent of frost mixes with the bitter scent of alloyed metals in the chain-link fence I have chosen to call a backrest. Sitting outside at night, while an invisible man watches a mountain road is hardly my idea of a fun time, and I would have nodded off already had I not been mentally processing all of the notable locations in the school's architecture. I had tried to ask Rin questions about her life at school, in hopes of getting her to give up the information I wanted, but she just responded with a _"What does it matter to you? I'm not even going to classes anymore!"_ and I had to drop the subject.

It was nearly eleven last time I checked the time, out of view of Rin obviously I can't have her seeing my stolen timepiece, but the boring vigil finally bore fruit. Shirou had arrived on the road to Ryoudou Temple, a blank look on his face according to Archer. The plan thereafter was simple, we wait for Saber to show up, and then move in after them. The area around the temple, whilst dangerous to spirits, was not a significant problem for Archer with his independent action, and so we could move in from the side and avoid the melee at the front.

What was surprising was just how closely Saber followed Shirou, and who was with her. Ilyasviel Von Einsbern, Berserker, and Saber all followed not two-hundred yards behind Shirou, Archer didn't need to relate that part, because I could literally _feel_ Berserker. Like a primal and unbidden fear that crawled across my very skin, wriggling and twitching, I could swear that if I touched my arm I would be able to run my hands across his rage.

She drags me from the school grounds, but I can't just leave it be. "Rin... If Berserker is here, we have no chance! This is not something we should be doing!" I don't try and hide the single emotion in my voice, hoping beyond hope that she will come to her senses and understand the gravity of the situation.

"It will be fine, a two-on-two fight, whoever wins we can swoop in on and finish off!" She will not be swayed on the matter, and despite my urge to do so, she has ordered me not to run away from her. All I can do is charge in to my death, and she forced this on me! Of all the stupid pigheaded things she could do, she picks the one most likely to get us all killed to focus her efforts on.

By the time I have finished cursing the existence of the Tohsaka family for the third time, we have reached the outer wall of the temple. Archer had the courtesy to help us both over, but I didn't approve of his methods. Rin was simply carried with him as he jumped over the wall, but when he came back to _"help"_ me, it was merely him grabbing me by the arm and _throwing_ me over the wall.

"Do I even deserve all this abuse?" is all I can spit out once the earth had righted itself. Rin answered in the affirmative, and from the quiet laugh at my expense afterwards, I'm sure Archer agreed.

We had no reason to be stealthy, Caster would know that we were here immediately, and any servants and masters would probably be able to sense Archer. Even so, Rin was hiding her magical presence as much as she was able, and I was sure that I would not even register as the smallest of specks on any such searches, so at least we were relatively safe. _"Relative"_ was the operative word however.

The sounds of battle were sudden but not surprising, as Rin, Archer, and I skirted the edge of the temple proper. We passed near the... lake? Pond? Body of water out back briefly, and while Rin was intent in remaining focused on the task at hand, I couldn't shake the nagging feeling that I had seen something move within the depths. This was completely unfounded however, how could I even see something like that with only the moon giving off light? Impossible.

The front courtyard was finally reached, with significant hiding between Rin and I, and the battle was... well... unspectacular for me. I could still feel Berserker, doing all I could to resist the urge to cut and run, or hide in a corner, or throw up, but all I could really see was Ilya standing by the front gates, Shirou dodging for his life, and Saber trying to protect him from Kuzuki and failing miserably.

Rin surveys the scene quietly for a moment, as if deciding what to do. She raises a thumb to her mouth, and I can faintly hear something like a crunching noise. Suddenly sparks shoot up in the air near Shirou. "What the hell was that Archer? Now they know we are here! What do you mean that is Assassin? It doesn't look anything like Sasaki Kojiro, there was no such thing as a skull mask in his legend!"

It is simple to deduce what happened honestly, True Assassin threw his Dark at Shirou, and Archer deflected them with his "arrows". He could never let anyone kill Shirou but himself, or else he won't get the paradox he so desires, but I can't help the feeling that I am overlooking something important.

But everything falls into place in my mind at once. True Assassin being around means that Zouken is moving. If Zouken is moving, that means his plans show promise, and he is acting on them. If his plans have gone through enough that he has summoned True Assassin, that means that Caster was about to be killed anyways, and that the... thing would be here. That almost imperceptible movement in the murky waters means that...

"Oh shit, we jumped routes! Shit shit shit shit shit, this bad! Really bad!" I yell as it all hits me, the details coalescing into the truth that things just got very unsurvivable. The combination of Archer interfering, and my yelling causes a sudden lull in the fighting. Kuzuki simply disappears, Caster seeing another threat and running away with her master most likely, the rest of them turn their attention towards Rin and I, with looks ranging from confused to murderous.

Then light of the moon suddenly ceases to be, a darkness blacker than black descending upon the temple. It wasn't that everything was suddenly impossible to see, the moon had merely been entirely obscured. There was light, but the sudden change left everyone's eyes adjusting, and so it seemed darker than what would normally be possible.

Everyone was completely stunned except for me as I was the only one, save perhaps for Archer, that had any idea what had just happened. That hesitation would get everyone here killed if they didn't snap out of it quickly enough, and so I needed to act immediately. Shirou's well-being, and the well-being of any servants, didn't matter to me only Rin and Ilya mattered anymore.

Rin was the one I absolutely had to protect, both because her orders compelled me to do so and because no matter how tinily so, I was connected to her. I did not relish the thought of what horrors would be posited upon me if she came into contact with that most inky blackness, and had no desire for anything but to run away as quickly as possible. Ilya, as the vessel for the grail, was also important to me. She was necessary for Rin's order to be accomplished, though there was another option in that regards, I preferred not to seek that method given the turn things had taken.

I waited but the barest of moments to see if Rin would act, if she would run. I couldn't run away from her, she had foolishly given me another difficult order to follow, but we had both been peering around the same corner, and so it only made sense what I had to do next.

I put one arm on her shoulder, wrap the other around her midsection, pick her up and run.

"Gah! **WHAT ARE YOU DOING**?"

She complains and I ignore it, my eyes slowly growing used to the newest depths of darkness, but not quick enough for my tastes. I tried to remember where I had seen Ilya standing before, and ran in that direction, not quite announcing what I was doing for fear of attracting the shadow's attention.

The ground shakes as something charges somewhere, probably Berserker. He would no doubt be consumed immediately, but at the very least it served a useful purpose for me.

"No! Come back Berserker!" She instinctively knew that her servant could not possibly destroy that monstrosity. Berserker, despite being the most monstrous of servants, paled in comparison to the new threat, Angra Mainyu had come, and we would all die.

My feet adjusted slightly as I ran, to change my course to the source of that little voice I had heard, full of fear and uncertainty at the fate of her beloved servant. My vision finally cleared enough that I could see where I was running, nearly slamming head-on into Shirou. I moved to the right as best I could, and used my free left hand to push him out of the way. I just barely managed to keep my balance, using Tohsaka as a counterbalance for the force I needed to move him out from between me and my newest goal.

Rin pounded against me and flailed about, making the entire ordeal much more difficult than it needed to be, and my heart hammered in my chest with my throat beginning to tighten from the exertion. It had been about fifteen seconds since the darkness had consumed us, I could no longer feel Berserker's itch upon my skin, had he really fallen that quickly? Three more seconds and I was able to scoop up Ilya with my left arm, and start heading for the gate.

Against my better judgement, now that I had my two most important parcels, I called out with all my might. "IF YOU DON'T WANT TO DIE, RUN AWAY RIGHT NOW." Why did I do that? Archer should already know the threat the shadow poses, was I warning Shirou and Saber? I want them defeated, but perhaps even a foe does not deserve an end like that. Or maybe I just didn't want us to have to fight Saber Alter. Either way my feet finally reached the gate and I began descending the steps as fast as I was able taking them two at a time, sometimes in threes, just desperate to get as far away as possible.

Rin still struggled and yelled, spitting curses that I scarcely believed she was capable of. Ilya on the other hand just allowed me to hold her, as though her will had been broken watching Berserker's mad charge to his own defeat. I don't know where Archer is, nor do I see Shirou or Saber, but I am hardly in a position to be checking.

"Hah... hah... Rin... Hah... Is Archer here?..."

"HOW IN THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT WITH YOU SUDDENLY GRABBING ME?"

My breathing is getting worse and worse, but I am finally at the bottom of the steps leading up to the temple. I won't manage to get much farther at this rate, I'll die if I push myself too much, but we will all die if I don't go far enough. Rin seems like she will charge back to the temple the second I put her down, and Ilya doesn't seem like she would do much of anything by this point. So I run, and pant, and heave through the pain.

"_**RIN, CALL HIM OR HE WILL DIE**_." I had to save my breaths to yell like that, I won't be able to say much of anything until I can get a moment to rest, but that won't happen for awhile. I have nothing left to spare and my brain turns off, I don't really comprehend Rin's complaints anymore, all I have left is running for my life,_ fear_.

I manage to get as far as the school. A place that sticks into my recent memory, it was the only place I could think of, if you could call that thinking. It was far enough away that if I set them down now, and they ran straight home, they should be fine. If I keep going, I will die, but it will take an hour at least for me to be able to do anything but concentrate on regulating my breathing, and so that shadow will catch up, and I will die. But if they run... they can still make it.

I set Ilya down on her feet, she says nothing, merely standing there. I only half manage to set Rin down, my body collapsing backwards against the stone wall around the school grounds. She "Eeep"s at suddenly being given back control of her movement, nearly tumbling over with me. She looms over me, furious.

"What is your problem? Picking me up, kidnapping another master, running so far with your arms around me like I was some kind of TROPHY. I don't even want to know what you were thinking all that time, feeling me up like that! Doing it to a little girl too, have you no shame?"

I let her rant at me, just this once, even though it gives her less time to run, she should get it out of her system. It gives me a chance to regain the ability to talk, and it may very well be her last time to do this to me. Another twenty seconds of red-faced rage, and I finally respond.

"That thing... Is concentrated curse... It eats servants... One touch, and you will die..." My breathing is carefully monitored, allowing just enough control to stabilize my condition while still saying what needs to be said. My distress is obvious enough that she quiets down and lets me continue. "You... Ilya... And Shirou... Work together... You can beat it..." I feel nauseous, but if I am to die either way, I must aid Rin in any way I can. "Go to his house... If he doesn't return... Come up with something... You are a smart girl... Go... If it catches up... You have no chance."

She looks directly into my eyes, illuminated only by the now returned moonlight. She surveys me for a moment more, finally realizing where my determination comes from. She weighs her options, and as a magus, there is only one course of action she can take.

"Make sure you come back. That is an order." She grabs Ilya, who still refuses to resist at all, and runs. In but a few moments she has dissolved into the darkness of the streets, and I have only but to wait, focus, and pray for a quick demise that I can not possibly be blessed with.

***Scene Break***

Thirty minutes pass, thirty awful, tense minutes. I am well enough now to walk, if just barely and with frequent breaks, and try my hardest to work my way back to the Tohsaka mansion, or Shirou's home, but it will take hours at this rate, and I don't remember how exactly to get to either place from where I am.

"…" I look around nervously, I could have sworn I had heard something. I focus on the sound of my breathing, my footsteps, my heartbeat... my heartbeat. No, that wasn't the sound of my heartbeat, it was something behind me.

I turn around and see a deep shadow behind me, creeping slowly forward. I am amidst residential buildings now, and the moon casts deep darkness across the area, obscured by various buildings. I lose any hope I had of my continued existence. The shadow had found me, and all I could do was merely wait for it to consume me down to the bone.

"_" A noise that I can't make out spits forth from the darkness, a quiet murmur that is dulled by the hammering of my heart in my ears.

The shadow draws closer, and I make no attempt to run. I instinctually back up, tripping on a crack in the sidewalk, and fall over onto my side. I break my fall with my arm, but again make no attempt at pushing myself up.

"_-suka?" The figure picks up it's pace, passing into a beam of light shooting between two buildings. A man in a blue uniform is running towards me. "大丈夫ですか?" he yells.

"What?... Japanese?... I don't understand." I can't quite comprehend the situation or the language, but he seems to be showing no small amount of concern. He arrives a moment later, hearing my protest and gathering himself. He reaches an arm down towards me, offering me his hand.

"Are... you alright?" He asks in somewhat clumsy English.

"I can't... breathe..." Is all I can really answer.

He pulls out a rather antique looking walkie-talky, says some things I don't understand, and then helps me up.

"Help will be com- soon. -will take - to a hospit-." I can't tell if he is struggling with the words, or if I just can't hear him. I get very dizzy, my head swims, and small spots of light begin popping in and out of my field of vision. I try to keep myself up, but fall backwards against a pole. He catches me by the arm and keeps me from falling all the way down, but time quickly becomes indistinct to me. He continues to talk, but I can't tell if I am answering back or not.

After what seems like an eternity, I feel myself being helped into a vehicle, driving around. Eventually I end up someplace soft, though not necessarily inviting, and I think I was asked to breathe normally with something in my mouth. It is all muddled however, perhaps I had already died, and my body was only surviving off of adrenaline, but there was sleeping eventually, a slow drifting into the healing embrace that my body so craved. Then nothing.


	6. Chapter 5

**Author's Note**: Shorter chapter this time around, still dealing with writer's block and ideas for a different fic started rattling around in my head to distract me more.

Not much for me to say about this chapter, other than I'm not sure how well I am doing with characterization and writing for various canon characters.

Tell me what you think, especially if you think I've gotten something horribly wrong.

As always, read on, and I own nothing but myself.

***Story Start***

As I slept, I had a dream. Not a particularly good dream, but I couldn't exactly call it a nightmare either. All the dreams I remember, seem to occur in the form of a kind of videogame. Some interesting quirk of my mind perhaps, but it always seems to be that way. So this dream that is like a visual novel isn't out of the ordinary.

The dream itself was very short, the game played through almost fast-forwarded to my eyes, but I understood it as though it had taken hours or even days to play out. Me, my character that is, made a very stupid decision early on, and regretted it the rest of the way. In fact, that choice was so bad, that the game railroaded itself into a Bad End. I hate it when that happens, but I understand that there is only so many ways a story can be told.

My character laments his existence, does some things he regrets, and because of that poor choice early on, never manages to get past his regret, merely letting the problems fester. I know that down the path I am on, there lies only eventual death, and so I reset the game, trying to avoid that poor choice. The game doesn't reset though, I am forced down the path I had chosen, and can only wonder why someone would play a game like that.

I wake up with a clear plastic mask over my face, the dream still fresh in my mind. "Oh... Stupid subconscious, that wasn't a dream." Is all I can say on the matter, but it comes out sounding muffled. When I breathe back in, I am then met with a bubbling sound, that worries me just a tad.

I am in a hospital bed, surrounded by an off-white cloth divider, that doesn't let me see into the rest of the room. "Oh, have you finally awoken?" I hear from off to my side. "I'm sorry if I startled you, but I couldn't help but listen in on what was said when you arrived. That you had no name, and that you apparently spoke English. I do as well, and thought that it would be appropriate to greet you when you woke up."

"Uhh... Thanks?" When I speak, it sounds like I am short of breath, and breathing in to allay the shortness of breath brings about more bubbling.

"You are in the Intensive Care unit, but it seems like that has become quite common lately. Don't expect to see a doctor for a few hours, there have been lots of cases of gas leaks and malnutrition cases lately. Every hospital is inundated with them."

"And is that... why you are here?"

"Heh, if only that were the case... I was in an accident and will be spending quite a bit of time here, just as you likely will. From what I saw when you were admitted, both our problems seem to run quite deeply, but I can also tell that conversation is proving rather difficult for you, and so I'll let you rest for awhile."

A halfhearted "Thanks" is all I give, we are both... injured, rest is important if I ever want to be able to move again, let alone finish my deal with Rin. I'm clearly not in a state that is easily healed however, perhaps there isn't any more I can do for her.

***Scene Break***

It is four hours before I see a nurse, and another two before I get a doctor that can properly explain what happened to me.

"You worked your lungs too hard, and managed to tear a hole in one of them. When you breathe in, some of that gas escapes and pools into your chest cavity, forcing the lung to collapse in on itself. We have placed a tube into your chest cavity, that safely drains the gas away, but this will only keep it from getting worse. This type of injury never quite heals properly, so even with surgery you will have to be careful with physical activity for the rest of your life. I can suggest a specialist for you, but there is very little more that we can do for you here."

"I see..." My eyes glaze over at the massive explanation, but I get the gist of it. No more theatrics for me, no more cowardly rescues, I am basically handicapped now, and not even surgery can help. "Not a very positive result I suppose, but even more importantly, how much is my stay here going to cost?"

"Regarding that, by a strange coincidence the man in the bed next to yours was both aware of your identity, and willing to take it upon himself to pay for your medical attention. You should be sure to thank him for his hospitality. If you will forgive me, I have more critical patients that I must attend to now."

The doctor takes his leave, and I am left scratching my head in confusion. He knew who I was, and paid for my stay? I reach my hand towards the clean muslin separating me from the rest of the room, just barely able to touch it with the tips of my fingers. I pull it forwards, and can finally see my unnamed benefactor.

"Rejoice" he says in a voice I can finally place. "It is not often that one is treated as well as this by the man whom he attempted to kill."

I am quite taken aback, both by just who it is, but also by the state of his body. Tubes and bandages coat his body, his face is largely obscured and what is visible is burned and pockmarked; what looks to be a small gunshot wound is clearly healing on the left side of his face.

"I did not have to extend this courtesy of course, but you remind me of a man I once knew, two actually. Both I despised with every fiber of my being, but consider this as a gift for nostalgia's sake. We both are not going anywhere, so please, tell me why you would go through so much trouble as to try and take my life."

Things are bad, and they can't get much worse than they are. I am crippled, unable to even try and fulfill my contract with Rin, and ever so weary of it all. The pain, the fear, trying to be helpful and getting naught but punishments and chastisement in return. I'm sick of it all. "Because you are a master. I did what I did because you are in the running for the Holy Grail."

"What? What did you just say boy?" His face contorts in a way that must be extremely painful for him, and it becomes rather grotesque to say the least. I let go of the clean white linen divider so that I don't have to stare at the result of my machinations. I had done worse than killed, I had left someone to suffer, perhaps for their entire life. Murder is a horrible thing, but what is worse than leaving a person with nothing? No happiness, no release, nothing but pain. I am the worst kind of scum now.

"You are a master in the war, summoner of Lancer whose true name is Cu Chulainn... You summoned Assassin in the last war, were defeated by Emiya Kiritsugu whose tactics I have been emulating, and murdered your teacher, Tohsaka Tokiomi, whose clothes I now bear... You were there when the last grail spilled, and that is likely the reason why you survived my attempt at killing you... We are both in a sorry state now, but unlike you who sought salvation only to find it distasteful, I will probably not be given such a blessing as finding salvation or forgiveness..." The words bubble forth like a stream, and having made no effort to consider what I was saying beforehand, I feel liberated from a burden in a way. The burden remains, but no longer on my back. The circumstances might be strange, but perhaps this is what confessional feels like.

He seems surprised for a moment, but then "hmm"s in understanding. Perhaps it is not understanding, but him merely doing what a priest should do in such a strange situation. "What makes you think that you will not be allowed forgiveness? All may be forgiven under the grace of god."

"I bombed a church, stole thousands from an orphan, made an enemy out of a being of god-like power or two, and will be on the run from the police very soon, my deeds made obvious to them when they find the body. I won't be seeing god when I die." I get up out of my bed, turning off my heart monitor. Having it go off because I removed the pulse sensor would do me no good at all. I push through the cloth, even though it would be easier to brush it away, and confront Kirei from the foot of his bed.

"Body of who? The only other person caught in the blast you made burned to ashes in the ensuing fire."

"Another person was caught in the blast? I guess I was already a murderer then. But to answer your question, they will find the body of the priest that I strangled to death. Of course in my condition I won't be able to run, but at least I can accomplish some of my orders."

His eyes widen slightly, and then return to what could be considered normal in his condition. Did they widen in surprise? Understanding? Perhaps resignation or fear. I think about trivial things like that as I turn off his own heart monitor. As I wrap one of the many lengths of tubing coating his body around his neck, I wonder what Rin would think of this. As the clawing at my flesh ceases, I wonder idly what color my cell will be.

Time passes at a snail's pace after that point, something not quite euphoria and not quite cold comprehension mixing to become something surreal. The door to the room slams open, and then shuts quietly, almost shyly. You can't see the far bed from the door because of the cloth isolator that was around my bed, but the entrants quickly pass by it to find my deed. There I sat, cradling one of Kirei's hands, the look of a mischievous child on my face. I look to the two that had entered the room, but see no one there.

The two nothings survey the scene and have an argument about nothing. I expect that I have finally lost my mind, but did not expect getting stabbed shortly thereafter.

I'd never been stabbed before, but I was no stranger to injury, but this went beyond pain, beyond sanity, it is not possible for a person to feel something this painful. Did the wound make me go crazy? Yes. Did I go crazy when I began burning to death from the inside out? Yes. Was I already crazy? Yes.

The two nothings go about their chat about nothing as my vision grows hazed and indistinct. Bits and pieces of myself shoot through the air, and my eyes throb in agony and rebellion. My blood has been replaced with acid, and is eating away at me from the inside, I feel my muscles turn to mush that oozes out my pores.

I feel at my shoulder where the wound is made, I touch the weapon, the dagger that I see piecing itself together there. It is long and wicked looking, symbols darting across it, and my eyes explode. This is something I should not see, everything is burning out, so why do I see it?

The dagger leaves a gaping wound behind in my shoulder, but it doesn't hurt. How could it hurt when every nerve in my body has been turned into razor-wire and ripped out through my shoulder? I follow the dagger up, and large black blobs swim across my vision. My eyes didn't explode, they are melting bit by bit. These ghostly black splotches are the parts where all the vitreous humor has been boiled away.

The blobs grow and seem to coalesce into something that might resemble a human, sounds begin emitting from them, like babies sounding out their first words. Blood pours out from the wound on my shoulder, and then it pours back in a thousand fold. I flood with vital fluids, my melted veins distending and then turning my body into one giant aneurism. Agony does not begin to describe it, and yet my body drinks deeply from the unending pool of blood.

The words become more clear.

"-e'll die befor- -ould be usef- -y master thi-"

"-itty priest goe- -ngrel manage t- -ou better prep-"

Clear is relative. The forms separate and gain definition. One is a tall blonde man wearing a white shirt and black pants. The other is shorter and with a strange, almost purple hair color. The short one tries to cling to the tall one, but is shaken off.

"-he hell do y- -nly agreed beca- -o keep away whor- -oing this on a hun- -ou'd better be ri-" The tall one chastises the shorter one.

The sounds become more clear as the bones in my body expand, ripping through flesh and membranes, and finally turning to molten lead that flows outwards searing everything closed. I can tell that the tall figure is male, and the short is female. Their features become distinct enough that I know they are perfect. Nothing I have seen, nor ever will, will match these two, and I know it. I reject it out of instinct, my body instinctively knows that this is wrong, that it isn't natural, and it continues to shut down.

"I am sure of this. I've been watching him for a long time, and his actions nearly prove that he knows far too much about what has been going on. He had some form of trivial contract upon him, so I stole it. I thought he might have been a throwback, or had non-human blood, that would explain the strange awareness about his actions, but look at how he is reacting to my prana. He is a mortal, and it would be easy to harvest what he knows from him, if you will it master..." The way she says that last word, isn't venomous or distasteful. It reminds me of how Rin sounds when she is acting like a real magus. When a cost is being paid for something necessary for victory.

"Don't presume to order a king around you bitch. I only allowed you to become a vassal of mine, because you have a use to me. Tools do not talk back, and they do not order the craftsman. You would do well to know your place."

"Yes my master. I will bring this man with me, so that I may evaluate his use at a time less invasive upon your needs master. Once he is stowed away safely, I will hunt down Lancer and see if he can be persuaded towards your goals as well master." The woman's clothes change suddenly, they become much darker and make her seem much taller and imposing.

She opens a mighty wing, and small black needles shoot forth from the blackness at the wing's center. They impale me everywhere, finding purchase on every surface of my body. The needles are attached to wires made of nocturne, and pull from every direction, tearing flesh and bone and skin. I am literally torn to pieces, and pulled into the blackness. Everything goes dark, but not because I have been granted the reprieve of death or unconsciousness. My body merely rages in blackness.

***Interlude***

"Ah" She manages to get out. She felt it, like a taut string being cut and suddenly giving slack. The only hope that she had for his well-being was dashed across the floor in an instant. "I can't feel him any more. The contract is broken..."

"That is probably for the best master, he was just one more useless body you needed to protect. I don't know if we could have succeeded in this war with so many hangers-on."

Shirou gives an indignant face from across the room and in the kitchen. "I am right here you know."

"That is precisely why I said it." The man in red shoots back.

Rin looks down at the floor, muttering. "I was supposed to keep him safe, help him live here. Instead, look at all he did for me, how many times he truly saved me. It just feels wrong to do nothing."

"There is nothing we can do master. If the contract is broken, he is dead. Not even sorcery can fix that."

"But Archer, you saw that dagger Caster had. I think I got a good idea of how it works, it seems like it severs contracts." Shirou talks from the kitchen as he cuts up a daikon.

Rin's eyes gain a measure of hope, but then the realization hits her. "If only his contract was broken, then he is unprotected and in the clutches of the greatest magus in this war. Even just her attempting a contract with him like what I did would kill him. Everyone has magic circuits, but having them forced open with no training is probably a fate worse than death. It will end in death as a matter of course, but there will be nothing but unending pain before that, and if Caster really thinks he is useful..."

She trails off awkwardly, and Archer picks up to finish what she doesn't want to hear. "Then Caster will keep him alive in that state for as long as she needs to."


	7. Chapter 6

**Author's Note**: This is something I have been putting off and struggling to write, for a very simple reason. I was afraid of writing Sakura. This was also the reason why she really only had one line thus far in the rest of the 'fic. If she seems out of character at all, it is almost blatant, and yet is also the character with the least insight into their thought process. We only really ever see from the outside in regarding Sakura.

This Chapter happens concurrently with Chapter 4, in case you were wondering, and is something of a flashback. The next chapter will continue on from Chapter 5 proper, I just felt it necessary to write out the events that led up to the "route-jumping".

If the strange chapter order bothers you, please tell me. If any characters feel off, complain at me about that too.

All I own is myself (And I don't even show up in this chapter at all. T_T I've been demoted to extra! Damnit!)

***Chapter 6 Go! Gahahaha!***

She held her breath as she walked, or tried as best as she could. Just two days ago, her and Senpai had been met with the strange little girl on the side of the road. Fujimura-Sensei had gotten the strange idea into Senpai's head that he was related to her, BROTHER at that! That little fake human even had the audacity to go along with the claims! Sure, that only happened after a very tense dinner, but she had called him "Onii-chan" at the end of it all.

Sakura knew better. A magus of Einsbern meant only trouble, and it was her duty as a Master, and to her Senpai, to root out this errant threat. She had been... happy? With her Senpai, helping him with little things. He did not ever reciprocate her feelings, but she was still content in this little thing, this... one... little happiness. So she held her breath, and prayed that her happy little dream could be salvaged.

***Scene Break***

"Please excuse the intrusion." She says enthusiastically as she lets herself into the Emiya home. Her enthusiastic entrance is cut to a rather abrupt end however, by her suddenly stopping halfway through what could best be described as a pirouette of happiness. She had hit a wall of sorts, pleasant scents suffused the house and were powerful enough to give her pause. Senpai was up early, and cooking. _Without her_.

She continued onward, but without the prior pep, not quite melancholy but not content either. Perhaps guarded would be the best description. A few seconds later and the kitchen was reached, her heart nearly stopping at the sight. In the kitchen was Shirou as he always was on the even days. They alternated the right to cook the various meals of the day, today was her day to cook breakfast and dinner, and his day to prepare lunch.

That should have been fine, as she really enjoyed eating what her Senpai prepared. The minor insult of not being given access to the kitchen was offset by the joy in eating his food, and being allowed to help. The part that was wrong, errant, and incorrect, the part that really stopped Sakura in her tracks, was Ilyasviel there helping Shirou cook. She didn't seem to be enjoying it particularly, looking frustrated and puffing her cheeks in annoyance, but she was there.

She was there, cooking with _**HER**_ Senpai. She was even wearing _**HER**_ apron. It was rolled up at the bottom so she wouldn't trip on it, but it was without a doubt the pink apron bearing cherry blossoms. Bearing _**SAKURA**_. A great pressure forced itself into her mind, like the cracking noise of a board suddenly bearing too much weight, followed by the audible cracking as she fractured one of the bones in her right hand.

The sound of her hand was enough to attract Shirou's attention. "..._...-akura are you alright?"

That snaps her back into reality. "Sorry Senpai, I think I might be catching a cold, don't mind me. Is there anything you need help with?" she sputters, hiding her hand. Just when had he come all the way over here? She felt a little lightheaded, so maybe the cold excuse wasn't very far off.

"Ah, no I don't need any help, I'm forcing Ilya to help out today. Fuji-nee said she had paperwork to fill out, and left for school really early, though she will still probably be late somehow. Since the tiger is out of our way though, I figured that I could take my time teaching Ilya." He pats Ilya's head, and she immediately protests by flailing her arms at him ineffectually... wait, he is back in the kitchen?

"But I don't want to learn to cook! That is what I have maids for! I'm not even doing any cooking, you are just making me fetch ingredients and dishes like some kind of dog!"

"As you can see Sakura, I have my work cut out for me here. I made tea so you can just sit back and relax for once."

She didn't want to sit back. It was fine when it was just Senpai doing it for the sake of doing it, or out of some misplaced sense of obligation to her, but this situation just wasn't tolerable. She liked cooking, the only thing that she was not a complete failure at, she liked her apron that felt so familiar, she liked the smell of the kitchen, and the smell of her Senpai, and liked wondering how many more pushes she would need to give him before her Senpai learned to understand a maiden's heart. These were all little things that she had built up over the time they had spent together, little coincidences that she used to build a happy little dream for herself, what else did she have? And suddenly that fake little dream was becoming something else, but she couldn't quite figure out what it was becoming, or why.

"I see, that is fine Senpai, don't trouble yourself on my account." She lied, but in that same voice that she always spoke in, no strangeness or warble to imply that it was anything but her genuine feelings.. It wasn't hard really, every time she spoke she lied, every time she was happy was a lie, so it was very natural. So natural, that she still managed to fool herself with it like always.

Time passed awkwardly from then on, the cooking process seeming to take but a couple moments, but the meal itself feeling as though it had taken hours. It did not help that the food was ashen in her mouth, not that it was bad, for she would never insult her senpai's cooking, but rather the fact that it wasn't made for the sake of the two of them, but for the sake of the three of them. No, the four of them, as she belatedly remembered saber. Why hadn't she remembered Senpai's servant, the one who was sitting to her left right now, working on her third helping?

The slow crawling of time finally comes to an end, and she excuses herself from the table. If she waited too much longer, she would be late for archery practice, and that would be unacceptable. She turns to leave the room, and runs face-first into the wall.

"Sakura! Are you alright?" He stands up to rush to her, but she just waves her hand and apologizes.

"_A-h_, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I just wasn't watching where I was going is all. Don't worry about me, I should just get going." She runs away, ignoring the call of "W-wait! Sakura!" from behind her. Not being a burden, that is the only reason she is running away, though who she is running _from_ she can't rightly say.

She walked towards her house, even though it lengthened the trip to school. Nii-san knew about all the time she spent at Senpai's house, and he didn't approve, but she had to put on the act, to at least seem to be making a token attempt at keeping on her nii-san's good side, if there was such a thing. Idle thoughts surfaced about her brother, and what he would do to her, but the confusing part was not his actions, but his inaction. As a matter of fact, she didn't recall having seen him since early the night before.

Usually he would return later in the night to have another "encounter", that is to say, force himself on her, but he went out and did not return, even by morning. It was too strange, even for her, and the question of what could have been keeping him puzzled her. On one hand she was happy not to be soiled again, though it didn't particularly matter at this point, but on the other hand he was her brother, sort of, and she couldn't help but question why he suddenly wasn't around.

Suddenly dizziness overwhelms her, a hand shooting to a nearby telephone pole to brace herself. A man in black clothes was approaching her, his hair golden, and his eyes... He wasn't human, he couldn't be, and him being around... was she excited? Afraid? Hungry? She couldn't place the feeling properly. He catches sight of her and begins walking towards her, instantly her heart rebels. Fear, that was definitely fear, but of what? It was like every surface around her was suddenly covered with the sticky cling of death, with no clear cause other than his mere presence.

He draws within a few feet, and she can't help but wince. It hurt, him being around... hurt her. "Only taken one in, and you are already starting to lose control?" He says almost jubilantly "You sure don't seem to be cut out for this job, but even a fake like you will do. Please try not to die grail-chan." and then keeps on walking as though nothing had happened. Should she be happy that she was recognized, or sad because the recognition was only as an object to be used? again she didn't quite know.

Even as the sudden... urges, the flood of implacable emotions subside as the man leaves, the feeling that she lost something in the exchange begins to grow. Now was not the time for thoughts like that though, she would be late to the Archery Club if she dawdled too much longer, and so she pushed forward without thinking of her body, and discounting the myriad thoughts running through her head.

***Scene Break***

Arriving at the archery dojo, Sakura changes into her uniform, and is almost immediately waylaid by Mitsuzuri-senpai.

"Good morning Mitsuzuri-senpai." Even if her emotions were running on high, and she didn't feel 100%, she still flawlessly managed to be both calm, and unassuming like normal.

"Yo, Sakura-chan, Taiga-sensei is busy doing paperwork in the main office, and forced all her club duties onto me." She sighs exasperatedly. "We have a new club member, and I don't have the time to show her the ropes. Would you mind teaching her how to shoot for me?"

"Ah, umm, I don't think there is any problem with that Mitsuzuri-senpai. Is... this her?"

"Yes indeed, Sakura-chan, meet Ciel-san. She is a second year, but you outrank her here! Good luck you two!" she singsongs her way to the other side of the range to scold one of the club members for mishandling the equipment.

"Ummm..." Sakura looks over the new club member, a second-year that she hasn't seen before. Her hair is shorter, and undeniably blue, with eyes to match. They lock eyes, and Sakura can feel something tugging upon her magic circuits. She washes it away, and Ciel-senpai's eyes sharpen for a moment. "You know... it is rude to stare senpai..."

"Oh, I'm sorry, it is a bad habit of mine... You were going to explain the nuances of shooting to me Sakura-san?"

"Ah, yes, one moment." Sakura retrieves a practice bow, and steps up to the range, motioning Ciel-senpai forward. She explains the proper protocol for preparing, safety, and proper stance with little to no problems. Ciel listens attentively, nodding her head and applying affirmatives where necessary to show that she is still listening.

The problem occurs when Sakura tries to explain how to properly shoot. As it is just a demonstration, she forgoes using an arrow, but when she pulls the bowstring backwards, a sickening _***Crunch***_ can be heard, as the fractured finger on her right hand gives way under the sudden and concentrated pressure. The bow falls from her hands, and she lets out a scream, that she thankfully muffled quickly, and only drew a couple stares from those nearby. Tears well up, and she bites down on her tongue to keep from crying out any more than she already had.

"Ah, one moment, let me get you some help." Ciel bounds off towards Mitsuzuri without giving any pause. "It appears that Sakura-san has injured herself, and requires your attention Mitsuzuri-san."

"Ah! No, it is fine! I'll just walk myself to the nurse, it isn't a big deal." She yells across the dojo, and now every head turns. Mitsuzuri walks over to a first-aid box mounted on the wall, pulls out a disposable cold-pack, and begins walking over.

"Nonsense, I'm the captain of the club, and so I am responsible for the well-being of the club members. Everyone! Take a break while I walk Sakura to the infirmary." Sighs and mumbled comments of relief ring out from most of those assembled, to which Mitsuzuri shoots a cold gland and a balled-up fist in protest.

*Snipt* Mitsuzuri pops the cold-pack, and escorts Sakura to the infirmary. About twenty minutes later, Sakura has a splint, Mitsuzuri has restarted archery practice, and Taiga gets yet another piece of paperwork to deal with, much to her chagrin.

***Interlude***

Saber had objected, Ilya had objected, but he went anyways. He had been attacked by Tohsaka the day before, she drew a line in the sand, but in the end they had both worked together to protect that girl... He just couldn't bring himself to ignore school for such trivial reasons.

The day proceeded normally for the most part. Taiga showed up for homeroom, and on time no less, but there was a substitute for English class. Eventually lunch time rolls around, and I pull out the bento that Ilya helped make. "Helped" isn't entirely accurate, but she was there at the time, so it counts enough to feel proud of her.

"Itadak-" *SLAM* the door to the classroom is thrown open suddenly. The other students eating lunch all jump at the same time, suddenly distracted from rumors, gossip, and tales of "how dangerous it is getting".

In the doorway is Mitsuzuri, she makes a beeline for my desk, stomping the whole way. Those that weren't taken aback by the sound, are taken aback now. One might even describe it as "terrifying". I just stare on, a deer in a pair of headlights, unable to even stammer in protest.

"You are coming with me." Her eyes seethe and seem to glow red, the air around her clearly distorting to the naked eye, so absolute was her anger and mission. She grabs me by the collar, lifts me up out of my seat (still holding my bento mind you), then drags me the rest of the way out the door.

The classroom door slowly gets smaller, and then starts back up, like it was unpaused. The murmurs... they are probably on a different subject now though... I sigh as I continue to be dragged all the way to the stairwell, up the stairs to the rooftop, and onto the small stones that line the top of it.

"Ah! Ouch! Okay! You can stop dragging me now!" The pulling stops, and my upper body crashes to the ground. I desperately scramble to keep everything in my lunchbox, and manage to succeed through some miracle. Even though she doesn't want anything to do with it, I still think Ilya would be mad if she heard I dropped it... "But... why did you drag me all the way up here? I don't think I forgot to do anything for you in the last few days..."

"Sakura is in the infirmary with a broken finger."

"Wait, what? When did tha-"

"She was showing a new club member how to shoot with a practice bow, and it broke when she pulled the string back." She pauses, but starts again before I can get a word in edgewise. "She is not new at this, and the practice bows do not have a very heavy pull. The only way that could have happened is if she was already injured. She spends lots of time at your house, _right_?" She leans down, and grabs onto my collar again, and leans in uncomfortably close to my face. "What. Do. You. Know about this?" She even pokes my forehead for emphasis.

"First off-, Sakura is hurt? She was acting strange this morning, but I thought she was just getting sick!"

"She won't say anything to me, and I'm just the club captain. She is a good girl, and if you are doing anything to her, or any of this is something you could have prevented..." She cracks her knuckles, and I feel a fear like the night with Lancer creep up my spine.

"I-I completely understand! I don't want anything bad to happen to her either. I have a good idea of why, and I'll have a talk with her about it tonight! So j-just don't do anything rash!" I don't try to run, because her concerns are legitimate. If what she says is true, there is a serious problem, and he is probably the only person that can approach it. Besides, knowing Mitsuzuri, she would get Taiga involved... and that could not possibly end well.

***Interlude Out***

They sat alone, the two of them, gazing at the sky. Wisps of steam curled up from hot cups of tea, and the two spent a quiet moment reveling in the presence of the other. They did not usually spent time together like this, and Sakura's heart began to beat more rapidly at the thought. They were alone, together, on such a beautiful evening... It was almost like a date.

Shirou sipped on his tea, his hands parting as he set the cup off to the side. His hand brushed hers, silence, blushing, and longing looks were had by both. He was the first to break the peace of the chilly evening. His breath was visible as he began to speak.

"I set this up for a reason you know. I wanted everything to be... perfect, as I have a rather serious matter to discuss." He is very cutely evasive about the whole thing, his voice tinged with sadness? Guilt?

"S-serious matter...?" She mumbles under her breath. All of this... the tea, the beautiful but lonesome sky, the... d-date... This was it, all her hard work was to culminate here, the perfect night where her senpai would confess his love for her. Her response would be shy, timid almost, as she reciprocated the confession. They would exist between moments, and their lips would meet as the knowledge of their mutual love intersected in time underneath the glow of the moon. They would share that moment together, pushing back time itself if it would prolong the encounter.

"Sakura... You have been acting very strange lately. At first I thought you might be sick, but I think that it is more complicated than that now. The time we spend together is very dear to me, and I feel like a fool for taking this long to notice..."

"...Ah" The beating in her chest quickened. This was exactly how she had imagined it happening. All the waiting, all the hoping, it was all coming to fruition. She could feel it through her body, hear the blood pumping through her veins and rushing about, trying to supply all the parts of her body with the much needed oxygen that her bated breath was preventing.

"Shinji is hurting you again isn't he..." Shirou says, his voice tinged with depression and disgust. "I heard about your hand... from Mitsuzuri. She cares about you, and so do I. You are my underclassman, and a dear dear friend Sakura... Even though it isn't my place, I can't stand seeing you hurting like that..."

"...W-what? F-friends? I am your d-d-dear friend?" No. Nononono. Her confusion comes out as merely a squeak. He only wanted to protect her? Friends? He didn't even notice her... feelings? "No..." her voice betrays her again, she wants to scream it, but can only mutter. "Your friend? I don't... want to be your friend..." I love you... her voice caught, not letting her finish. She just couldn't confess no matter how hard she tried. Stupid stupid Sakura, never being truthful with her senpai. "H-how can you be so insensitive Senpai?" The words were louder, but dull. He always acted like that, so why why why did she think that he would understand this time?

It was his turn to be taken aback, for he hadn't quite expected that response. He knew how taboo the topic was, but he brought it up for her sake... It seems like he was just making things worse for her though. If he thought about it seriously, it was probably his fault that Shinji had been treating her so badly lately. She didn't want to be his friend. He couldn't blame her for that, he finally understood the harm he was doing... and he indeed was being rather insensitive about the entire thing... He thought quietly to himself for a second or two, deciding how he should tackle the problem of his burden on her life. "You are right Sakura, I am causing you nothing but problems. Perhaps if I had been less dense, I would have ended this sooner, and spared you all the pain..." Unable to think of a good way to word his feelings, he decided to be blunt on the matter.

"You shouldn't return here Sakura. It would be for the best if we try and forget about all this time, and move on with our lives. I think that this is the only way towards happiness." Not happiness for himself, or rather, he was happy if she was okay, but nobody should have their lives made harder by the selfishness of others, and so he decided that it would merely be for the best that he lose his helpful kohai.

She froze and her eyes began to well up with tears, but they never flowed out. A shudder ran through her form, and her hands extended rigidly and awkwardly down to her skirt. Mechanically she bowed, turned away, and said her peace. "I'm sorry for bothering you Shirou" and she was gone.

The dream was over, quickly and succinctly cut down. There was nothing left, no part of her that had reason to persist in her dogged refusal of her fate. It hurt to be a tool, but that meant she had use. It sickened her to be so dirtied, but without her love, it did not matter what state her body was in.

Her grandfather was there when she had finally made her way back to the Makiri estate. Grandfather in name only, he nonetheless stared at her with only one eye open, almost suspiciously so. "Oho, you have returned awfully early today, what happened to my order to investigate the Emiya boy?"

She steels herself, and replies unemotionally. It hurts to do so for a moment, but it is surprisingly easy to get over. "It is no longer possible to do so. He has... disallowed me from returning to his residence."

"And why would that be, dear granddaughter? Did he discover your true nature perhaps? Did he realize that you had been lying to him this entire time? Or perhaps he finally tried to take you, and was so disgusted by your form that he forbade you from returning?" He maliciously twists the blade in her emotions, but does not get the expected reaction.

"I attempted to get closer, and as a result, he emotionally distanced himself. There is no benefit in continuing the farce any longer, and there is not any more that can be learned. He has allied himself with Berserker's master, and as you likely already know, Rider was defeated and properly absorbed into my body. What of Shinji?"

Zouken clears his dusty throat in something approximating surpise. "Dead. There was an explosion at the church that occurred in circumstances not dissimilar to the way that the elder Emiya conducted his assaults on other masters. Perhaps the son merely followed in the footsteps of his father."

"Then it is better for your plan that he has pushed me away. You no longer need to risk me in an attempt to get my consent."

"Oh, you noticed? Oh dear, I merely want what is best for y-"

"-ourself. You want a grail that you can easily control, and I will suffice." She had known, always known. She had hoped that perhaps she need not make such a sacrifice, but that was then and this is now. There is no longer any desire within her to care. Shinji is gone, never to bother her again. The little shit. If she would be denied everything, she would deny everything in turn. Her fate will come to pass, everyone she cared about will have to die, and she couldn't be happier.


	8. Chapter 7

**Author's Note**: Activity! Action scenes! Everything you could possibly want! Six months late...

We are now making actual progress forward, instead of silly flashbacks (I am not ruling out more silly flashbacks in the future... Present? Past? Whatever.) Hopefully I'll get back into the swing of writing, my fingers are crossed, but even if it takes a while, I won't be abandoning this story until it is finished and I can look back on it with disdain like it were an old shame.

As always, complain as you see fit, point out where I am wrong, and where characters don't feel right.

***EDIT*** Now you have a location to complain that isn't just the reviews! Where I can complain back! Append this to yer address bar: .net/forum/Disparity_of_Fate/110613/ ***EDIT***

All I own is myself.

***Chapter 7 Horahora!***

I wake up on the floor in a cold dark room. The only light seems baleful and indistinct from the far end of the space. I twitch and ache, my body exhausted from the events of the last two days. I can barely move, but I push myself up anyways. First things first, I reach up to wipe the fogginess from my eyes. My hand draws up towards my nose, and I am greeted with the strong smell of metal, iron specifically, and think better of wiping my eyes with my hands.

Not to be daunted, I hobble my way towards the light, blinking strongly to help clear my sight. Almost immediately I am bathed in it. The distance took no time at all to traverse, or perhaps my concept of time is askew right now. The light suddenly snuffs out as a figure occupies the space, cutting off the previous flood of light on the stone floor. My stomach sinks as I try desperately to determine who has discovered me and what their presence means to me. My mind searches for the worst possibility, as if I know that is the only possible result. I've-

"Onii-chan, what are you doing sleeping in the shed? Breakfast is nearly finished!"

-missed my chance at the kitchen for today.

Ilya twirls in place, and then skips out into the yard. "Hurry up! Hurry up! Or it'll get cold!" She is unusually happy today, probably because Tohsaka is cooking. Tohsaka seems to like making western food, and Ilya seems to approve. I won't let myself be beaten though, I'll teach Ilya the pleasures of authentic Japanese cooking yet!

I make my way into the house, Ilya and I following the smell of food to the living room. Saber is sitting quietly at the table, with Taiga clinging to her dejectedly. Entering the room seems to have jarred her from her stupor long enough for her to look at me with a face like walking death, rising up to face me.

"Shhirroouuuu~" She sounds awful too, was that the moan of the living dead? "School is canceled, and I am being buried under paperwork... Feeed meeee."

"Uhh... Fuji-nee... I'm not cooking today, Tohsaka-san is." I point to the kitchen, and Tohsaka shoots me a look that I can't quite decode.

"NO EXCUSES. THAT REMINDS ME. WHY IS SHE HEEEERRRRRREEEE?" She screams indignantly, throwing an accusing finger Tohsaka's way.

I stare dumbfounded for a minute. "Fuji-nee... Tohsaka-san has been here since yesterday, remember? You ate three meals with her!"

"… Did I?" she mutters confusedly. "I have just been so overworked lately. There have been gas leaks all over town, an explosion at the church on the hill... There are even rumors that someone is going around causing it all!" a deep sigh shows how frustrated even happy-go-lucky Taiga can get. "It is a nightmare for us teachers, trying to keep all the students calm and safe. That is why we canceled school for the next two weeks. If some psycho is going around causing all this, we want him caught before we open the school back up and give him a target!" After her rant, she deflates like a balloon, collapsing at her normal spot at the table.

Breakfast itself was... interesting to say the least. Tohsaka had made Eggs Benedict with salmon instead of ham. It was a remarkably heavy dish, to be perfectly honest, but I was surprised at how balanced she had made the meal. A very light soup whose flavor I could not place, though the use of mirepoix was obvious, and anpan! When did she have time to make anpan from scratch? It was a bold move, but clearly meant as a peace offering to Fuji-nee. I'm sure that Tohsaka would have rather made toast with jam, but one cooks with the eaters in mind as well.

I can't help but think that perhaps the meal was all a bit _too_ complicated, even for me. It took extra care to eat everything, and the portions were too small for the "Big Eaters" portion of the table. All in all breakfast ended up taking twice as long as normal, and I mentally promised to make Saber a much heartier lunch to make up for it.

Fuji-nee ended up dashing out of the house at full speed, an anpan hanging from her mouth as she bid everyone farewell, admonishing us to make sure we all stayed safe. It admittedly lost most of its serious tone, given that her mouth was full at the time, and none of us could understand her.

Now that the house was populated only by Magi and Servants we began our work. Combat training with Saber, Magi training with Tohsaka and then Ilya. Most of my "training" with Ilya actually consisted of me sniffing out good places for her to anchor a boundary field around the neighborhood. Since Ilya was to be a permanent member of the household, she was in the process of relocating her workshop to our house from the old Einzbern castle, and had insisted on some more... thorough defensive measures, despite her legitimate surprise at the skill of the field already present (which she thankfully let stay put.)

Archer was training on his own too, and helping with our strategy sessions instead of abstaining like normal. It smelled suspicious to me, and I still don't like him, but he seems knowledgeable on the subject of the war, and has been working to temper Tohsaka's... impulsiveness for a while now. She seems oddly rushed sometimes, almost lethargic other times, I can't make heads or tails of it, but Archer seems able enough to manage that on his own.

*WHAP*

I take a shinai to the head.

"You are allowing yourself to be distracted again Shirou. Focus only on the spar."

It was going to be a long day...

***Interlude In***

Caster was irritated. Her plan was working perfectly but for one exception and the irritation at that exception outweighed the joy of all that she had learned. Sure, the pain it experienced just from passively suckling at her prana was immensely delightful to her. The heights of agony it could reach with significant amounts of her prana had led her to shamefully doing so even when there wasn't information she wanted out of it. What she put in, leaked away as though through a sieve, and she had found need to step up the "donations" from the mortals in town to keep up with her interrogation, but that was not even a nuisance in and of itself.

No. What bothered her was irrespective of learning the identities and capabilities of nearly every servant, or vague prophetical explanations of days to come. What bothered her was that despite all her pushing, it would not divulge any information about Archer, or Archer's master.

At first she though it insolence, and tortured just that more readily in seeking the answer. When that didn't work, the torture became destruction. She burned through its circuits, brought it to death and then drew it back with the false draught of immortality. Oh the protests it made, having its life extended by the forbidden potion made with the last of the life of a hundred humans. It raged and retched, but never declined, as though the same thing that kept it silent about Archer also kept it clinging to its own life no matter how distasteful that life became.

But it bothered her and puzzled her. She was nearing the end of the use she could draw out of its shell. The mystery of it intrigued her, but she was wasting valuable time here, wallowing in the pleasure of its pain. It was running out of use. She would dispose of it soon.

That was not her only worry of course, Gilgamesh was far too obsessed and haughty for her tastes. He was easily placated by lip service, their alliance merely being a matter of convenience. As long as she remained sufficiently subservient, he gave her no direct trouble.

The other major problem was the new overseer from the Church. The move from Ryoudou Temple to the partially destroyed church on the hill was one part necessity, one part coincidence, and one part convenience, but not long after this "Ciel" person arrived. The Church had apparently sent their replacement for Kotomine the moment he was hospitalized, and it just so happened that a member of the Burial Agency was nearby to take over his duties.

"How inconvenient..." Caster mutters to herself. The last thing she needed was to make an enemy of the Church, though that animosity would always be there. She would have to determine exactly where this new arrival stood in regards to the current... activities occurring. It was probably too much to ask for her to be as corrupt as Kirei had been. In addition, information gleaned from her 'reliable' source had made her aware that Ryoudou Temple would be the location the grail would form. She would need to take steps to 'reacquire' it.

She flips up her hood, her cape fluttering in the oppressive silence. The feeling of a stream passing out from her cuts off, she could be merciful to the conquered when she wanted. A little chuckle, "Enjoy your little reprieve. I will be back soon, when I have dealt with the Church's new dog." and the tapping of shoes marked her ascent from that personal hell to the house of god.

Caster had little trouble finding her target, she merely had to follow the dull thumping of a hammer. It led her to the main foyer, where Ciel was knelt down and diligently repairing a pew that was missing about half its bulk and was charred the rest of the way.

"Ohoho, what a handy new priest we have. Is there any way I might borrow some of your time for a little ch-"

"Save your pleasantries for someone who cares. I hold no respect for your kind, nor you for mine, pretending otherwise would just be a useless farce and a waste of my time."

"I see you have quite a mouth on you, are you sure that isn't just misplaced enthusiasm for your position? The previous priest knew his place, but are you really willing to show so much hostility to a being such as me?"

"1,827 Hospitalized, 352 Dead, 29 Missing. That is the number of people you have injured in the last forty-eight hours, and you have been doing it all from this very church. I am well aware of what you are capable of when I show you hostility, and I am not afraid of you."

"Do you take offense at my actions then? Clearly they violate the tenets of the Church, of the Magic Association as well, so what will you do? Drive me out of this place? Try in vain to stop me?" Caster puts a hand to her mouth and laughs haughtily.

"No, I won't try and stop you. Frankly I don't even care how many people you slaughter. I have no desire to be here and if the Church wasn't **requiring** me to send regular reports back, I **wouldn't** be here. I think you would be mistaken if you thought that I couldn't 'stop' you if I wanted, and it would be an even bigger mistake to try and provoke me into doing it." Her eyes affix murderously onto Caster's before breaking away.

"YOU, do whatever you want. I am going out. Decide if you really want to make an enemy of me or not before I get back." Ciel turns sharply and walks calmly to the gigantic front doors of the church. As soon as she clears the entrance, she disappears in a burst of motion.

"...How troublesome." It takes a minute or so for Caster to formulate a plan, but then she calls out in grandiose tones. "Archer, I'm sure you heard all of that?"

"Of course I did. I could hear your blathering for miles if I bothered listening. It looks like a new fake priest has replaced the old one!"

"And we have all the information we need now. All that is left is for us to tie up this one loose end, and for you to finish off the rest of the servants with the power I am giving you. I think the time to act is now."

"I think that you are a million years too young to order me around Caster. You are a horrible, despicable waste of flesh that disregards laws as you please, but I could do with a little fun. So I'll be going out myself, on my terms." He reaches the threshold of the church doors and jumps away.

"Kukuku" she chuckles to herself. Despite things going so poorly, it was all just going so _well_.

***Interlude Out***

It was nearing midday and with Rin poring over dozens of tomes trying and figure out a way to kill something that EATS Servants, I was left with the infinitely more important task of deciding what to make for lunch. It was a thorny path to making all involved parties satisfied, Saber didn't usually care what she was eating as long as there was a lot of it, Rin wanted to be impressed mechanically, and Ilya preferred things familiar to her decidedly western palette.

"Hrmm." I wrack my brain, in hopes of the answer presenting itself to me, but just as I cross the threshold into the kitchen I am greeted with the dull jingling of a sound I have become acutely aware of in the last week. I silently thank my insistence that Ilya keep it standing, because she hadn't quite completed the "alarm" portion of her own field just yet.

Everyone tensed up, Archer and Saber kept quiet, and after a moment Rin started barking orders. "Saber! Keep Shirou and Ilya safe. Archer! You go a-" Then there was a knocking at the door, and a stunned silence crept across the room. "Wha-What kind of intruder knocks? It's gotta be a trap. Archer, come with me." Rin and Archer head out of the living-room, leaving Saber, Ilya, and myself behind.

I can't leave Rin alone to put herself in danger so I follow after them. Ilya, not wanting to be left behind clings onto me. Saber, suddenly having no charges to protect, follows along just behind us. So it was that the five of us crowded around the front door to my house as the knocking continued in short staccato bursts.

Tohsaka palms her face when she sees the line that had formed behind her, but motions Saber to go first. Might as well lead with our best I suppose. Saber moves forward wearing armor that was not there a moment before and rests a gauntlet-clad hand upon the frame of the sliding doorway. A tense moment of waiting makes the feeling of disquiet even more unbearable.

"Haaah!" She lets out a fierce cry as she forces the door open, her blade following shortly after. It shoots forward like a bullet, sending a streak of crimson floating through the air. Saber immediately jumps backwards as though she had made some sort of fatal gaffe, nearly bowling me over in the process. The figure that Saber retreated from looks almost uninterested, or amused, her head cocked slightly to the side as though she were pondering a question instead of having avoided a sword thrust.

In a way, she was a terrifying sight for having nearly totally avoided an attack from Saber. In another way she was a terrifying sight because _despite_ having just avoided an attack by Saber she wore a small gentle smile that distinctly reminded me of Tohsaka. It was horrible.

I can see it too, all the training Saber had been giving me was paying off in small ways. Saber's thrust had been meant to be a lethal surprise attack, missing with the blow meant that she had put herself at a fatal disadvantage. I can also now see why Tohsaka wanted to go alone with archer: having this many people in such cramped quarters is a serious disadvantage to a fighter. Having no room to move or attack, Saber prepares to defend against the counterattack, an attack that never comes. Instead, the figure in the doorway just continues to smile peacefully, menacingly, and speaks up in the most calm and polite voice I have ever heard from someone just assaulted with a bladed weapon.

"Would Tohsaka Rin happen to be present? I have a very important matter to discuss with the guardian of Fuyuki City."

"What would someone like you want with me?" Tohsaka yells from behind me. Wait, when did she get behind me? "And how did you know I'd be here?" her voice tinged with consternation.

"I am just a concerned Executor of the Church, wishing to warn you about an unexpected threat to the city of which you are responsible. As for finding you... I asked your teacher." She gives a wry grin before continuing. "Now if you wouldn't mind letting me i-"

The world seems to explode into a screeching cacophony, the strange newcomer's words are cut off by a hail of weaponry lodging itself into her body. Saber jumps in front of me, deflecting blade after blade, and Archer intercepts a good number of them with his own projectiles.

All the sudden defensive measures leave us not that much worse for wear, though the entryway to my house could now be described as "shredded". A dozen or so weapons stick out of the robed woman's crumpled form, and looking past them, I can see the one who was undoubtedly responsible for the deed.

A man wearing golden armor stands atop the wall surrounding the building, doubled over in laughter. Even I can tell he is a Servant. "Hahahahaha! Found you! The rats all decided to nest together!" His voice pisses me off for some reason. "And look, welcome back to this world Saber, have you changed your mind yet? Have you decided to accept my offer? To be wed to me, the strongest servant?"

Saber's stance shifts uncomfortably, but doesn't let her guard down. To me, though, his words raise thousands of questions. "S-Saber, what does he mean? Do you know him?" my voice wavers slightly. I knew she had secrets, but what else could she be hiding from me?

"Now is not the time Shirou." Saber takes a step forward so that she can protect me with her body if she needs to. I know why she is doing it, this man is outrageously powerful, but it still pisses me off. Even now, am I just a liability to her?

"Not the time indeed..." I hear from above me, a voice unmistakably of Archer standing atop the remains of my entryway. The end of his sentence is clipped off by the sound of air splitting, the screaming of a red hot projectile through the air, and the almost imperceptible twang of a bowstring that I am sure no one else noticed amidst the din.

It flies like a bolt of lightning towards the man in gold, who has barely a fraction of a second to avoid it, and only manages to partially succeed. It hits with the force of a tank shell, and explodes like a missile, obscuring the foe and decimating a large portion of the wall around my house.

Splinters of wood from what was the gate, and shards of stone from what once was the wall, fly in all directions. Saber skillfully protects herself from the shrapnel, and keeps any life threatening bits from skewering me as I instinctively wrap my body around Ilya to protect her. A few bits do get through, but they thankfully only hurt terribly, and cause just a small amount of profuse bleeding from my back. Tohsaka stays nice and safe behind a servant and two meat-shields, preoccupied with... something.

The smoke starts to clear, silhouetted by a large shining ovoid, like a hole had been ripped into the world itself. A twisted and charred piece of golden armor clatters across the ground. "You...! You are just a peasant! You have no right to lay a hand, nay even a finger on me, and yet you draw your _weapon_ against the King of Kings!" A spattering of blood now marrs his once regal countenance. One of his massive pauldrons has been blow clean off, a thick chunk of his breastplate gouged out. Archer's attack struck the golden armor at an angle, deflected slightly from a killing blow by instead burying itself in the space between the pieces of plate before it exploded.

"And that weapon!" The man in gold seethes "That is one of my blades, stolen, copied, destroyed, … defiled. Your transgressions are innumerable and unforgivable, and for that I find you guilty. You are sentenced to drown in that which you so covet." Many weapons poke through the surface of the circle that surrounds him before shooting towards Archer like bullets fired from a gun.

Weapons of every make and period clash against arrows of light. Faster than I can count, they crash together and break into small novas of light that cause the shredded bits of metal to gleam like silver clouds. Perfect weapons beyond number are destroyed in an instant, and it almost makes me sick to my stomach. Saber looks back at me beseeching for an order, a course of action, and I am forced into the first real choice since the war has begun. I look upon the devastation of my house, and then at the pile of meat that was once a rather polite, if intimidating, visitor.

"Go kick his ass Saber." She sighs in relief, as if there was doubt in her mind as to what I would say, but that doesn't stop her from joining in on the fight for long. With that taken care of, my attention turns to the fact that I am now the only thing protecting Tohsaka and my sister. I can't fight unarmed, and I don't think a wooden sword would prove any use against the weapons being thrown around so casually, even if it was reinforced. I grit my teeth in frustration, there isn't time for me to be messing around.

"Excuse me." I begin to remove weapons from the former Church Executor, the apology only consoling me enough that I can continue on with the distasteful task. A cursed sword, useless, followed by two more of the same stroke. There is a blade that seems to be made entirely of paper even though it cut just as deeply as all the others... I feel bile rise in my throat as I remember precisely what I am doing at the moment.

I focus back to the task at hand. The paper blade was used as a ward against treachery and has no other special qualities, so I discard it. The last of the weapons comes free and I am forced to pause. Merely touching it filled me with unbridled visions of battles on horseback, a man slain by a child who would be king, Roland? Even if it is a prototypical version of it, the blade of Roland the Paladin could be just what I need...

I look forward again and see that not a terribly large amount of time has actually passed. It was enough time to obscure some of the surrounding area in weapons and shards thereof, but not for either side to make any significant progress. In fact, I almost feel like Saber and Archer are being pushed back by the onslaught. I force my perception outward letting me take in more of what is going on around me, it would do me no good to allow the adrenaline and rush of memories give me tunnel vision, just like Saber taught me. I finally piece together what it is that Tohsaka is doing behind me. She is chanting a spell, and a damned big one at that.

"Sieben, acht, neun, zehn. With these gems, all my soul. Explode!" Nearly a dozen gems leave her hand, thrown with all her strength towards Gilgamesh. Instinctively realizing the danger of being between the two forces, I pull Ilya out of the way and jump off to the side just in time to be blinded by the gems turning into miniature suns for the briefest of moments. The brightness coalesces into a ball of searing white flames, that quickly sprouts wings, taking the shape of a bird, and sets off towards Gilgamesh like a rocket. Saber leaps out of the way in the same direction I did, whilst Archer retains his position on the roof surveying the situation with hawk-like eyes.

Gilgamesh curses in disgust at the display, reaches into the void behind him, and pulls out a long red weapon covered in symbols. One look at it and my head starts to pound. I don't try to comprehend it, my mind already feels like it is trying to run in two different directions at once, all I can do is fight down the overwhelming urge to flee like the worthless flea that I am.

It begins to spin, spitting off blood-red energy before he yells. "Enuma Elish!" with those words reality itself begins to erode. Where those tendrils of fiery destruction touch there is not destruction, merely a sudden lack of anything like some horrible beast swept through and scooped out part of the world. The red wave of absolute destruction meets the phoenix of white hot flames and falters for a fraction of a second, then pushes onwards, taking only the briefest of moments to casually unmake such a massive show of power.

I hear a cursing from above then archer drops down and yells. "Rho Aius!" A coruscating shell of flower petals, seven of them, erupts from the air between Archer and Gilgamesh. Could that be Archer's Noble Phantasm?

Enuma Elish strikes the petals of the Noble Phantasm, and instantly obliterates one of them. Waves of destruction carve out large cones of, well, everything not directly behind it. I wince as two more petals flash away and I become acutely aware of just the kind of damage being done to everything nearby, silently hoping that nobody is inside the buildings being carved up by the deflected energies.

Archer grunts as his breathing becomes labored, two more sections of his shield are gone. "Rin! Get away!" he yells but Tohsaka doesn't move, seemingly entranced, not that that any of us would have enough time to get away even with his warning.

My fingers wrap around the blade I pilfered. I know about Noble Phantasms, that they are the trappings of a hero, and hold great power and fanciful abilities. I know that Servants activate their Noble Phantasm by calling out its name, that it consumes large amounts of prana and then renders an effect. I know that I am a failure as a magus, have less prana than could be considered "normal", and that taking more than you have is entirely unhealthy.

I don't care.

I grip the hilt tighter as the voice of the one I must protect above all else calls out to me almost pressed up against my leg. "S-Shirou?" Her voice is quiet and fearful. A voice that should be lost amidst the din of the earth itself being torn apart around us, but is perfectly clear to me. I pat her head, and gently detach her. "Don't worry, big brother has it covered."

Her eyes flash in comprehension, and she yells out to me "No! You can't!" but I have already begun my dash towards Archer. The penultimate portion of Archer's barrier gives way as I arrive just in front of him. The last petal dissolves in slow motion before me, like a piece of tissue paper exposed to too much water.

I know that what I am going to do is stupid, but I have people I need to protect.

"DURANDAL!"

I yell it at the top of my lungs as if trying to scare away a predator. Durandal glows brightly, throwing off rays of white and yellow light in turn as the blade itself _unravels like cloth_. The glowing wires seem to undulate and shoot off towards the wave of destruction without my command. When they finally reach it they embed themselves deep inside, somehow weathering the blow of a weapon that has not left a single thing unmarked.

A bright flash is all that marks that the air cleared of the death it held moments before.

I do not know from where the sword drew its tithe, I feel only a sweeping haze fall upon me instead of the agony I expected.

With the hail of blades stopped, Saber rushes forward taking advantage of her only chance at Gilgamesh. She rushes forward will all her will, yelling a sharp cry that pierces the air as much as her blade.

Gilgamesh scoffs at the attack "You're too slow! Enuma Eli-"Three long straight blades strike him, one splitting his collarbone, one embedding itself into his 'good' shoulder, and one narrowly missing his face, removing a few hairs. He falters for a moment. "Who? Who dares interfere?"

He cranes his neck towards the source of the blows, distracting him long enough for Saber to close the distance. By the time he regains his sense, he quickly throws up a makeshift block of Saber's first blow with Ea. It was an act of desperation that came too late to be proper. A resounding crack can be heard from Gilgamesh's remaining wrist as the spiral blade falls to the ground.

Saber's second attack finally reaches him, her blade enters his side, carves him down to the bone, and continues onward. When the swing loses momentum and her sword is lodged in his flesh, instead of pulling the blade free, she merely forces it onward and brutally eviscerates him. It was not clean, it was not pleasant, but the blow was clearly filled with the fervor of past indignation. Saber made the blow count, and the first hero died in a puddle of his own blood, sputtering just the same as any commoner.

I try laugh at the irony of the sight, but don't accomplish much. Archer disappears, presumably to recover, and I am greeted with the only reason that we could call this a victory. What had once been a pile of meat has returned to being a church executor, long blades hanging from her hands like twisted ornaments. "Well that was odd" she says aloud in a bewildered voice.

_'What a strange world, where someone doesn't even die when they are killed...'_ the thought passes my mind as Tohsaka finally reaches me,with a concerned expression on her face. They yell and fuss, but I can't really hear them. It is like my whole body has gone numb, deadened of pain and sensation.

A feeling of tiredness washes over me, but try as I might I can't seem to fall asleep. All I can do is stand there, dead to the world, as my mind races and turns up nothing. My vision is hazy, my hearing is muffled, and my brain seems to be spinning its wheels futilely. Tohsaka and Ilya don't seem to have any idea what is happening to me either, and so all I can do is let them poke and prod. Not that I could object...


	9. Chapter 8

**Author's Notes**: Merry Christmas and all that. Expect a drop, or increase, in quality due to it taking forever to get this chapter out. The story is quickly drawing to a close, there should be no more than two chapters left. That said, I'm in desperate need of beta-reads/editors with strong knowledge of the nasuverse. As always, feel free to review as harshly as you please, and know that I do respond to private messages.

***Chapter 8 Start***

It had been twelve hours since she had left, but all I could think of was one thing. "I'll die. I need it, or I'll die." Caster had left without a word, without a visit, without a puff of smoke or a killing blow. I felt forgotten like a piece of trash, and that isn't too far off.

I crawled, if you could call it that, at a speed that any living creature could exceed.

My body was dead, my muscles atrophied beyond what should have happened in the short eternity I had been chained here. The chains were gone, but the prison remained. The prison of a body with its nerves ripped out.

She had tortured me again and again, but there was nothing more to tell. She left me like that, in that state, and said she would be back soon. Was this part of the torture? Leave me free, to die with my salvation before me?

Four vials sat on a dais. They did not pulse with power, nor magic. They were simply life. Those were the vessels she stored the souls of men in, the means of my continued torture. Why had she abandoned them there? What would make her leave such a thing so quickly?

These were all things I would have been thinking, if I had room to think beyond the need.

She arrived like a bolt of lightning, but no spark of recognition resounded in my dull empty eyes. Her steps had a speed so great that I could not follow her, and she swam in and out of my view. I couldn't care, it was unnecessary thought.

After a trip to the far room, the one filled with corpses like me, she returned. She looked at me like I was trash now, and she was right. Her focus quickly turned to the dais I was working towards. She perused the vials and instruments there, even uncorking one of them and sniffing at it suspiciously. I could hear the retching and gagging, and then my life fell to the floor and shattered.

Rage. Hatred. She destroyed it. It was for me. How dare she.

The floor wasn't uneven, the life saving fluid was not going to freely flow towards me, and I wouldn't be saved. But the floor was covered in tiles. The fluid started filling the gaps between the tiles, spreading out much farther than it should have on a flat surface. My mind raced.

There it is. Is there enough? Will it make it? Come here. I want you. I want to live.

COME CLOSER.

A year of bottomless desire passed, and the dark fluid coursed towards me with the speed of a snail. It was close enough. I pounced.

That movement would be my last, of course. It was born of desperation, using what little life I had left. If I missed, I would die. Though I would probably die regardless if I stayed still.

The fluid touched my tongue. My mouth was too dry to taste it, but it probably tasted like blood. It was probably made from the corpses of hundreds of people. But I could live.

My reverie was cut short by something long, cold, and sharp pinning my shoulder to the stone wall. I looked, and finally recognized who it was that had invaded the silence of this graveyard. It was someone I had met before. It was Ciel.

She wasn't acting like herself. She wouldn't have attacked me. I met her, however briefly. This is the reaction to an unknown.

My mind starts working again, slowly but surely. I didn't get enough of the elixer to last long, but I could think again, could reason. Ciel attacked me. Ciel knows me. Ciel wouldn't attack me if she knows me.

This isn't my Ciel.

Panic sets in. I don't know this Ciel, but she isn't acting like the one I know. The Ciel I know is nicer. The Ciel I know has met Shiki. This Ciel will kill me without a second thought, so I need to give a good reason for her not to, NOW.

"-roa" the word doesn't come out easily, but it grinds its way out. Ciel was about ready to behead me, but that stopped her. Good, another moment of survival.

"What was that? What did you say?" Her eyes narrow in annoyance, and her pupils narrow like those of a snake. "Tell me where you heard that name, or I'll kill you."

That was funny. She said it as though I weren't already as good as dead. I'm in no mood to hasten my demise, so I continue as best I can. "-serpent of akasha..." the words refuse to come out cleanly "roa... I know... how to... kill him... where he'll be..."

"I'll kill you if you are lying, scatter you to the winds. You shouldn't know about that, about any of that, about _**HIM**_." a mix of emotion is clearly present on her face, and none of it is good. I press my luck anyways.

"-trade" I squeak, and point slowly at the dais. At the vials.

She understood, and complied. Really, it wasn't all that surprising. I had just offered, at threat of death _anyways_, a possible answer to the only real problem in her life. That the cost so far only involved walking a few feet was probably enough to get her to actually comply. She left the Black Key in my shoulder though, unfortunately. It didn't really hurt as much as it probably should, but I chalked it up to the week of physical and mental torture.

Soon I had downed half of one of the vials, and she had _tentatively_ removed the blade from my shoulder. I was being given a chance.

"I don't actually know specifics-" she glares daggers at me "-but I do know someone who does, and I can take you to meet them. There are just a few... ground rules and a couple simple things before we can get started." I try and sound diplomatic, but I mostly end up sounding like an ass.

"If, and that is an if, you are telling the truth, there is very little I can do to argue." she says. "If, however, you are not telling the truth, I suppose I can just dispose of you and not be the worse for wear."

Damn, she was really ruthless before she met Shiki. I'm not lying though, and my life is pretty much forfeit otherwise, so I'll just have to work through it. "That's the spirit!" I say happily. "Either I am telling the truth, and we both benefit, or the whole thing might as well not have happened. I'm glad we could to an agreement, and make this a working relationship. I have people that I am obliged not to be a burden to, however, so before we can head off, I'll need just a couple small things. Preferably starting with minor first aid, and working up from there."

She gives me her look. The one that makes me want to evacuate my bowels, but complies in the most painful way possible. Soon I am not quite bleeding out onto the floor, and in a decent shape to continue my requests.

"See? Not hard at all. Now then, Kotomine is dead and you don't seem too keen on being quite as corrupt and depraved as he was." She mutter a curse at me, and I choose not to press my luck with the subtle aggression. "Regardless, Caster seems to have taken ownership of me. That includes tracking my location. This is dangerous to me, to you, and to other parties I would like to see unharmed. I do believe Kotomine had something of particular use in that regard... The shroud of Martin. It is probably with his personal effects. While you are there, if you could pick up one of his sets of clothes, and one of his Black Keys, I would be greatly appreciative."

"You are out of your mind." and she simply refutes me. "Kirei was crazy too, but you..." She shakes her head. "Kirei has no reason to have the Shroud of Martin, and giving you a weapon seems amazingly stupid considering how you've been acting."

"And I am any crazier than the Church Executor out seeking her own death?" I sigh and stare. "Look, there is a den full of... creatures of 'darkness' that are responsible for my near death twice now, and my assured eventual death. All I'm asking for, in return for fulfilling your life's desire, is the ability to move around without being tracked by Caster, and a little help in getting some much-deserved revenge. I **know** that you understand revenge."

***Scene Break***

"Fair is fair, of course." I say, sporting the garb of the now-ex-priest of 'that church on the hill' and a long red scarf. "You've given your advance payment, so I'll give mine."

We trudge towards Ahnenerbe as the day begins to wane, the few people in the streets stare harder than they ever have before, and don't seem to have the presence of mind to hide it anymore. I vaguely recall that I am probably a wanted criminal now, and should try and keep out of the public eye for the rest of... well... ever? But there is business to be had.

When we finally arrive, I tentatively touch the door to the restaurant. I didn't think this through either. I have no way of knowing who is going to actually be here, and no guarantee of my safety if I can't hold up my end of the bargain. I open the door with a bang anyways, and am pleased at what I see.

"So" I say to Ciel. "You have three choices. Her name is Shiki, and she is probably your best bet for quality, and anonymity, but it will probably cost you to hire her 'services'." I gesture to a brown-haired woman in a formal kimono at the back of the restaurant, and then towards the two other capable individuals. "The one with glasses on is Shiki, and he will undoubtedly help you for free if you ask, though he might think you are someone else. The one with bandages instead of glasses is Shiki, and I have no idea what he will do or say, but if he kills you, that is what you wanted anyways, right?"

In my explanation I disregard the fact that two of those three choices are the same person, and momentarily wonder how one who is immortal will choose to die.

She stops and turns to me "Are you kidding? You act like a schizophrenic nutjob, ask for priceless relics, drag me to a restaurant..."

"Curry restaurant" I add.

I have just enough time to grit my teeth, so I don't lose any from the right hook she answers my 'wittiness' with. I really need to stop doing the joke thing, but I can't help being a smartass when I am uncomfortable with a situation. Which is pretty much always at this point.

"Omnkay" I say as I check my teeth for an breakage "I probably deserved that, but I'm not lying either. I'm honestly surprised that you haven't used those eyes of yours to 'suggest' I tell you the truth"

She glares another dagger at me. "I did."

My arms fall to my sides, crestfallen. "Oh... So you've basically just been messing with my head this entire time? Probably for your own amusement? Okay. I guess I can live with that, given the alternative."

"You are an insufferable wretch you know" is the last thing she says to me before stomping off towards Ryougi Shiki. Interesting choice, but I can see the need to keep things professional when you are hiring your own killer.

***Scene Break***

All-in-all it took about thirty minutes for Ciel to finish the terms of her deal. After a quick trip back to the church to pick up my newly bartered Black Key, and the rest of my new possessions, we were on our way to the Makiri household. The day had since melted into a chill dusk. I breathe in deeply, savoring the relatively clean air that contrasts so sharply with the miasma that I had been breathing for that little eternity.

"I can't imagine a crazy fool of a man like you coming up with one, but do you happen to have a plan for this?"

"Well..." I say it as slowly as possible to give myself a chance to think of the best way to put my 'plan'. "I figure that you'll run interference on Assassin and Zouken, while I go in and deal with the main problem. Oh, but if you see a big black shadow-looking thing, you should probably run regardless. I don't know if it can actually pull it off, but you don't want that _thing_ to be what kills you."

She stops walking.

"You... want me... to fight a servant... in the war I am supposed to be proctoring!? Your stupidity knows no bounds!"

"To be fair..." I say "...I just need you to not die, and you are really good at that! Assassin specializes in killing, and you specialize in being strong, fast, smart, and absolutely impossible to kill. I'm not asking you to seriously fight him, just stall for some time and then leave. Our deal is concluded after you keep them busy for a minute or two, after that you are free to go and do whatever it is you want."

Ciel gets very quiet after that. She had finally realized either how determined I was to be going on such a suicide mission, or how crazy I was to be doing it willingly. Its a shame that I am neither.

Since the moment I had gotten out of the little hell of the church basement and grasped my safety, that nagging pull from my contract with Rin had started again. I'm grateful that she had worded the contract in such a way that Caster could not easily force me to break it, though I am sure that the wording wasn't well thought out considering what it makes me want to do. The tugging was persistent; I had a chance to do something that would not happen again. I had a chance to remove the most troublesome master from the war anonymously.

If I decided to act after re-grouping with Rin, I would immediately throw suspicion onto myself. If Rin found out that I did it, the fact that she has been "forcing" me to do these things will come to light, and she will break. Allowing that to happen goes against my contract and as far as she knows I am absolutely incapable of lying to her. With an alibi, my torture, and an inviolate contract, Rin will believe me 100%. She always was a bleeding heart. Then I just have to deal with Archer...

My train-of-thought decides to jump the tracks as Ciel and I arrive at the Matou household, or should I say the Makiri household. I spare a glance over to Ciel, who merely nods grimly back with her affirmation. I pause at the threshold, the outer wall, and take a tentative step like I was testing the temperature of a pool of water. When I am finally convinced that the house itself is not out to murder me, and given how foreboding the place is you can't blame me, I square my stance and yell.

"**ZOUKEN, GET OUT HERE.**"

I hear a raspy voice from my side that sounds both menacing and polite. I look down to see a gnarled little man clutching an equally twisted walking stick.

This, of course, marks my sudden and fearful sprint towards the front door of the house. It is thankfully unlocked, (does anyone actually lock their house in this city?) but I fumble with the handle long enough to see the path I took lined with throwing weapons from both sides. I just have to trust that she will hold up the bargain, I'll survive this suicide mission, and I'll get back to... well... I just hope those two have allied like they should have before I first stepped in.

_Hope? Trust? That is strange... I don't think I would have ever resorted to those things before I came here. I never would have committed so strongly to a course of action that wasn't guaranteed to succeed unless I was out to prove a point. I shouldn't have thoughts like that when all I should be worried about is survival._

The house itself is silent, pitch-black, and as foreboding as I guessed it would be. I got a good look at the room I was now in when I opened the door to enter, so I quickly shift my back to a wall that isn't likely to be punctured by weaponry, and wait for my eyes to adjust.

It is a strange feeling to suddenly rely only on senses other than sight, in a place you have only ever seen from afar. My hammering heart calms down enough for me to focus on feeling the room I am in. I push an ear to the wall and listen.

There is the sound of my breathing, heavy and overwhelming; the sound of an old house's wood cracking and popping as the day cools down; the sounds of the fight outside, pitched and frantic; and below all that, barely noticeable under the din, is the scratching of thousands of miniscule monstrosities ready to end my life in the most unpleasant way possible.

My eyes adjust in time for me to be completely unable to hear anything. The noise of my frantically pumping blood drowning out everything else. Across the room from me is the staircase to the second floor, but immediately to my right is a hallway that leads further into the house. There is a door open there, leading down into the basement.

I couldn't physically run up the stairs as fast as I wanted to just then, and I don't think anyone could have. The upstairs felt quieter than the rest of the house, almost somber like a funereal. The irony was not lost on me.

There was only one speck of light in the entire house, and it crept languidly from underneath a door not a few feet away from me. I, calmly as I could, ran to the door, threw it open, jumped in, and slammed the door behind me.

The room I am now in is quiet, well-lit, and smells faintly of something pleasant but not overpowering. It is so different from the rest of the house that I can't help but be put on edge. Then I hear the voice of the person I came here to kill.

She is as I remember, but different. Her body shot through with sickly discolorations that run across her body. A few words trail off from her lips, but it means nothing to me. A finger rises to her lips, and then her face lights up in understanding.

"You are that strange englishman I saw through my shadow, the one that wore the clothes of my old father. I don't know why, but it seems like you know a lot more about what is going on here than you should. I was so close to eating them before you butted in. In the end, I only managed to get the one."

She huffs a disappointed sigh. This is not the Sakura I know. Instead of dwelling on it, I reach into the priest's old robes and pull out my new problem solver. The clear act of aggression prompts her to react as well, and the room explodes into motion. I try desperately not to think about how all the motion involves me and a wall.

Three sharp cracks cry out from my body as wood splinters against my back. All three cracks came from my spine and my legs heave out from underneath me. The pain was excruciating.

The pain was nothing.

She saunters over, the shadow with her now. "Oh dear, you broke quite easily didn't you?" She says with childish glee.

My mind moves a hundred miles a minute, checking my body and trying to come up with a way out of this. I can move my arms, but not my legs. The Black Key is still in my hand, I kept ahold of it, but even if I try to use it, my chest will be a bloody cavity, or worse, before I can do anything with it.

I really didn't think this through.

"Is there anything else you want to say before you die, little man?" She lifts my face up to meet her eyes, and to see the shadow of doom lurking behind her.

_Think, I have to think. I'm going to die if I do nothing. I don't want to die. I can't kill her, she will kill me first. I shouldn't have come here. I don't want to die. All I have is this useless weapon, and this more useless knowledge. I don't want to die. I just know things that others don't, but those things have changed. They don't mean anything anymore. What more can I do against her? She has cast her lot far sooner than she should have. I don't know why. I just know that I don't want to die. Anything is better than nothing. What would give her pause? I don't know now, only then. That is all I can do._

I don't want to die.

Our eyes lock like a predator finding prey. The stare hurts, so I turn my eyes away. I open my mouth to speak, but blood joins the words. "Shirou" I say "he knows".

She squints. "Senpai? Does he know about what I've done? What I've become? He threw me away! I don't care about him anymore."

Ah, this is bad. She is really far gone. It wouldn't be that strange for someone like me to lose to a monster, but maybe there is a little bit left of her. One thing that she still holds dear. A bit of humanity that I can twist like a knife in a long-festering wound.

"He knows about you and Shinji." I bring my eyes back to meet hers. "He knows _everything,_ and hates you for it."

Sakura stops, briefly to understand, then lets out an unearthly wail and clutches at her chest. Dark tendrils wrap around her, writhing, cutting, tearing deep into her flesh. The sight is so terrifying that I am left agape, completely forgetting about the weapon I had readied. It was like I had just opened Pandora's box.

She jumps at me, grabbing at my throat, and I can do nothing but try to force her off. Her fingers wrap around my neck only for me to throw them off as quickly. Then she grabs at the trailing shroud conveniently wrapped around my neck, plants a foot into my chest, and pulls.

The effect is immediate, the stomp into my chest having forced out most of the breath I had. My heart hammering in fear becomes my worst enemy, tearing through what little oxygen is left in my body. Wild and animalistic instincts start to trigger, adrenaline floods my body, time slows to a crawl, but the thing on me is not a mortal threat. As I pull, that 'thing' pulls harder, as I thrash it thrashes harder. An unearthly calm spreads through me at the penultimate moment of my life, finally bereft of lifegiving oxygen.

I let it take me, pull me up and in, into the mass of purest darkness. It doesn't want me dead, it wants far worse, and is willing to take its time to shred me body and soul. As if my soul wasn't already blackened beyond repair.

There, at the center of that 'thing', is no longer a girl who fate itself decided to hate, but a black tower. It stands tall and austere, and I realize that I am not really _here_. This is all just a twisted metaphor, and I hold the means to end it in my hand.

I thrust the Black Key forward, there is no tower, no flailing mass of shadows like barbed wire being drawn through my flesh, just a girl. A girl whose mind, with but a word, I destroyed like her body. Her hands still clutched the cloth around my neck, and all became red.

It was a blur.

I drank a vial of fluid. I ran through halls of dying worms. An old man cursed me with his dying breath. I felt rain. I disposed of a weapon. I stalked through empty streets. I felt nothing.

***Scene Break***

It wasn't long until I found the Emiya household, a few hours at worst. The rain was pouring down in sheets now, but I didn't care. I was alive, I had survived, but I felt no remorse at what I had done, and that scared me.

Rin answers the door. A brief moment passes and our eyes meet. In that moment we reach an understanding. She had an idea of what Caster had done to me, and hadn't expected to see me again. I knew that she would feel responsible for what happened to me, but I no longer felt the magical tug between us. Caster had seen to that, but Rin didn't seem to notice the loss.

She didn't notice, so I lied.

"The contract, between us I mean, it saved me from caster." Her mouth gapes at my sudden speech, as if I had grown a second head. "The wording you used, it meant that even if she took control of the contract, it still wouldn't let me betray you. It was almost brilliance on your part." I preen her ego in hopes of keeping this exchange short.

"O-o-of course it's brilliance! I'm a magical genius. Don't get all full of yourself by trying to think less of me!" She blushes slightly, and a hint of a tear can be seen in the corner of her eye. "But uhh, Tuv... what happened to your hair?"

I have no idea what she is talking about, so I change the subject. "You didn't use any honorifics, you must have been really worried about me." at that she turns into a stuttering mess.

I ask for a room to sleep in, and immediately get my request. Shirou, Saber, and Ilya are present and eye me suspiciously, but the spark of recognition comes to Ilya's face. With Rin and Ilya on my side, and Shirou and Saber cowed with inaccurate stories of my bravery and hardship, I am given a pass.

I give a short explanation of my escape from Caster, with promises of greater detail after I get some sleep. Then I head to my room in the out-building of Shirou's residence that Rin _demanded_ I stay in.

***Scene Break***

I lay, not nearly close enough to sleep for my tastes. My mind races with thoughts of what I'd done, and who I'd done it to. Rin can't ever know, she would be destroyed, and my one goal would all be for nought.

Suddenly a figure steps through a wall near the door. It's Archer, looking to scope me out probably. He pads around the room searching, unaware of me watching him in my peripheral vision. Then he walks over and sniffs the air. "You smell of blood boy, what exactly have you done this time?" Archer says as he shakes his head disapprovingly over my futon. "What have you done this time?"

I surprise him by meeting his gaze. "Nothing that Rin did not ask for."

"You... how long have you been able to see servants?" His eyes turn sharp and his brow furrows seriously.

"It was a side-effect. Not unlike something you managed to do yourself, right Archer?" I didn't even need to cue him, my hair had gone as shockingly white as his. It should be obvious to him, even if the others didn't understand the relevance. My circuits were opened, and irreparably so.

"You are hemorraging Od." Archer says "The others probably didn't notice because your spiritual energy is like an inert gas to them. You should be dead."

I can't suppress a laugh at that. "You are right, I should be. Here... but please do try not to spill it, it is very precious to me at the moment."

I profer one of the two remaining vials to him. He takes it gingerly, pops the stopper on it, and immediately retches.

"You...! This is made of souls and blood, how did you get such a wretched thing?"

"Caster used it to regenerate my body through her torture, of course. It kept me awake, lucid, and healthy when she wanted me to be; and tortured me like an addict with it as my life slowly bled away, chained to a wall mere feet away from where she kept the vials." I coughed, not just air but blood as well. I swallowed it back down, but it didn't escape his notice either. "In the amounts she was using it, it could regenerate limbs, and that was indeed something that happened. When she suddenly left, I merely re-appropriated it. If I ration it well enough, it should keep me alive for a few more years..."

He spits. "You are nothing but a vampire now, a monstrosity that feasts on the blood of innocent people for survival. You should just let yourself fade away so that you don't sully this world more than you have already."

Another hearty laugh escapes my lips. "I was always a vampire in my own way Archer, just as you always were. We just feast on different things. But the one thing I can't allow is my own death, not now. I seek life with my stolen time, but you seek death with yours. Even with that difference, I think you can understand why I persist without reason."

"Eternity is not something you should think to understand, beast, nor my motives. I'll leave you to your pitiful existence, and consider yourself a threat to my master's safety now."

"As you wish, superhero."

The sheer dumb shock on his face was worth it, even if that probably elevated me from 'threat' to 'target'. He left without saying anything else, it would just be too conspicuous if he killed me here. I didn't expect it to turn out quite like that, but that was the fun wasn't it?


End file.
